A Series of Unfortunate Saturdays, Part the Third
by Panther Nesmith
Summary: AU. I get more innuendo into this one.
1. Prolouge

Hey All!  
  
Ah! Timne to start clean on my next story. Okay, this one needs a longish prologe to explain how I've twisted self-possed to my own evil will.  
  
So, with only slightly further ado (the x-men and anything else I might use aren't mine), we proceed tot he set up's set up.  
  
A Series of Unfortunate Saturdays, Part the Third: Feathers and Underwear, Part the First.  
  
***  
  
Okay, I've decided on synopsis style, because I never actually wrote this.  
  
Basically, The only difference is instead of absorbing Mystique at the concert, Mysty gets her shap-shifting arse out of there, and Rogue morphs with her powers from that other time she touched her, ya know the one.  
  
Um, she still freaks out just as much, but only shifts into the other people at the concert, and when the cops are chasin' her. That's probably aboiut it. Um, it happens, on wednessday,and shist! I have to write in apocalypse don't I? Wait, no I don't. UM, what ever the name of the apocalypse episode is never happened, 'k'? Okay. That's about it. Apocalypse can poke his aincent nose into someone else's fic.   
  
Evan's gone because I hate him (marrow wannabe), but Rahne and Jubilee are back because I like them. Everyone got it?  
  
***  
  
Next chapter: the plot begins!  
  
Peace and Love,  
  
Panther Nesmith 


	2. Like c'mon!

Hey All!  
  
Okay, here's the set up. I hope this story is better than my second and first ones (which will be refurbished, I swear!)  
  
Um, I once again own nothing, and would like to point out that since I'm writing anything beside Anne Rice's name, and book titles I'm not realy breaking any ff.net rules. Thank you. (I had to give Rogue her weapon of choice ya know.)  
***  
"Come on Rogue. You can't stay inside reading, like, Anne Rice all day. Just put your bookmark in, come with me to Scott's car, and we'll go to the mall. I'll even go to, like, Borders with you if you'll come."  
  
Nothing. Kitty sighed.  
  
"Don't you need to go to 'Spencers' for spring break stuff?"  
  
Kitty got more nothing.  
  
"There's a half off sale at Lazarus. Come on Rogue!"  
  
Rogue was still not paying attention to Kitty, with a lot of help from Anne Rice and Korn, if you get what I'm saying. Kitty was fed up by now. She grabbed _The Vampire Lestat_ and Rogue's headphones. Rogue immediatly looked up and glared at Kitty.  
  
"Kitty, Ah just don't want to talk to you. Give me mah stuff, an' go the hell away."  
  
"Aw come on. You can't mope in here all day!"  
  
"You're right."  
  
"Duh." Kitty was working hard not to show she was still nervouse about what form of revenge Rogue would get her with. But Kitty knew if she showed fear Rogue would eat her alive, literally maybe.  
  
"Ah'm goin' to be in our room, doin' mah french paper. Don't bother me."  
  
Kitty stood in between Rogue and the door. She looked determined, and definitly unKittylike, even though she was scared. (AN: Girl's got guts, but they might be on the floor if she keeps this up, no?)  
  
"You sit inside all day, and you, like, don't talk to anyone ever! Don't go sulk up in our room, we won't see you for hours."  
  
"Wouldn't that be a pity." The sarcasm was as thick as Rogue could make it. Recently the only person she'd even been partly friendly to was Remy, because he was getting teased mercilessly for what he'd thought. That and it'd been Jean who'd started it, and anyone who got screwed by Jean was okay with her.  
  
"Like, yeah. I know you're still pissed about he whole 'You totally like Remy assembly'; but it was for your own good!"  
  
Rogue snorted and grabbed her stuff from Kitty. She looked evilly at her roommate, who didn't budge, and sighed. She turned around and sat back in her chair as she put her headphones back in. She also marveled at the fact that her page had somehow not been lost in the process of being take and retrieved.  
  
Kitty sighed and phased through the floor into the rec. room, where a rousing game of go fish was in full swing. Bobby was currently winning, so he was really ticked off when Kitty told him she had to talk to him alone. But he followed anyway, just see what was happening.  
  
The newer recruits, minus Ray and Roberto, who were playing Jet Moto on versus mode, and Amara wo'd left after talking to Remy in the hall, continued playing, skipping over Bobby's turn and slowly working his cards into their hands. Jubilee wound up winnig that game, but Sam won the last one, before the fighting between Ray and Roberto got so loud only Sam stayed in the rec room, and then only to keep the peace.  
  
Meanwhile Bobby was being briefed on why his winnig streak had been intterupted.  
  
"What's up Kitty?"  
  
"I need you to, like, make Rogue laugh."  
  
Bobby snorted derisivley. "Yeah, right. I'll solve world hunger by inventing a better tasting fat free twinkie while I'm at it."  
  
"Just, like, try. She never socialises. I mean, we, like, know not to touch her. So why won't she go to the mall or the park?"  
  
"Did you try the library or Borders?"  
  
"Duh, I tried them first."  
  
"Did you try to embarrass and irritate her by bringing up Remy?"  
  
"No, well, maybe a little."  
  
Bobby stood thinking for a minute before nodding his head. "Okay, I'll do it. But I'll need Kurt for back up. Gimme a sec."  
  
"Thanks Bobby."  
  
"Hey better than a twelveth game of go fish."  
***  
Next chapter: the plot begins! (Sorry I lied in the last set of footnotes, di'n't mean to.)  
Peace and Love,  
Panther Nesmith 


	3. What is Amara doing to the grass!

Hey All!  
  
Lady MR- Yeah, pretty much. But you have to give them all credit for extreme guts, and stupidity. Whichever.   
  
Sujakata- I'm sorry you feel bloated; but glad you approve of the Remy bashing (literraly) in the last story. Hope you like this one too. There's a lot of Rogue/Remyness in this one. (In fact, this was writen specifically for that purpose.) Any cats fights that happen will be later. I dunno if they will, but I'll try to work at least one in for ya.  
  
Vagabond-Sorry, synonyms should _not_ start with the same letter. My bad. Yes, Rogue is breaking. Revenge will happen halfway through, but it's more of a teaser than the whole shebang. Notes are encouraged as there will be a pop quiz somewhere in the fic. Study up class!  
* I frown as I click the next button on my e-mail.* "Two from . . . Oh, that was last fic's review. my bad, again." Her and Bobby do deserve a good funeral. The story will egt going soon, I need the setup laid. In the immortal words of Columbia, "Slowly, slowly, it's too nice a job to rush." Thanks for not blaming me for the review thing. I think it's because I took the intro off because it was messed up. Which is still the computer's fault, because wouldn't the reviews follow the text?  
  
ishandahalf- You think this fic is cool beans? *adoring anime eyes* (I hate anime, but it's appropriate), thank you! I know, I'd be gone if I were any of them. Bobby had the right idea, even if here's no way he could be a lumberjack. (Bobby in flannel, not something high on my things I can imagine list.) Rogue does rock,. and I'm glad you think my story does too. I'll try to keep the humor level high, but somethings must be serious. No, wait, nevermind. I think it's just the next part, and don't worry about the out of order reviews. Glad you like the real ending as much as the not real ending.  
  
Ariesque- You don't have enough time to read me? Aw, nutbunnies. I'm sending three clones of whatever fictional character to be your loyal and trustworthy slaves. Glad you like the start. Don't worry about erratic reviews, I'm not gonna demand constant loyalty. Thanks for joining us!  
  
***  
Kitty left Bobby to hunt down Kurt while she went to make sure Rogue stayed in the study until the guys got there.  
  
Kitty heard Kurt 'bamf' in. Rogue must have smelt the sulfur, because she looked up and scowled at the students now blocking any thought of exit. She looked majorly annoyed. She also sighed and took her headphones off, knowing this would probably be a speech about how she neded to lighten up.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
The others started arguing about who would speak first. This required backing up into the hallway to face each other for optimum arguing position.   
  
Rogue saw her chance, and slipped past them undetected until she was spotted by Kitty.  
  
"Rogue, c'mon. Like, hear us out!"  
  
"Ah heard ya out enough last week. Ah'm tireda hearin' you out. Leave me alone."  
  
"Why are you in such a bad mood liebshen?"  
  
Kurt knew he'd said the wrong thing when Rogue focused all her expansive glaring ability on him. "Well, Ah dunno, maybe the fact that mah roommate, fostah brothah, an' well, Bobby told everyone about the stupid things Ah do when it was nonea their buisness, an' are now harrasin' me ta go be friendly to them, an' go to overtly populah places so we can be stared at and despised. Beside that Ah guess Ah don't have any reason."  
  
Kurt looked humbled, because, well, he didn't want to die young. Bobby, however, was apparently planning on commiting suicide, and wanted help, because he was the next person to speak up.  
  
"What are you doing instead? Hanging out with Remy?"  
  
Rogue glared at Bobby now, who grinned like a moron, to try and make her laugh. She shook her head and turned around to go to her room.  
  
When she ran smack into Ororo, the last person Rogue wanted to see. She'd missed the Danger Room session because she'd slept on the living room couch the night before, and Storm's nickname among the more, unrully, students was the Enforcer. She looked Rogue, who was trying to look lke she'd had a horrid nights sleep (easy enough.). Storm shook her head and contiuned outside, where Amara had 'accidentally' ignited the front yard. Unbeknowst to Ororo, bu beknownst to us, Amara now had a nice new twenty from Remy for doing this.  
  
***  
Okay, find out how irked Rogue is, Remy makes an appearance, and Ororo has a gardening emergency to take care of. All in the next chapter! (thank the gods I don't have to write in first person and can go back to good ol' invisible narator style.)  
Peace and Love,  
Panther Nesmith 


	4. Planned Scott Torture

Hey All!  
  
Lady MR- Okay. The tangent was okay. It's nothing like the story that is going to result from the setup, but thanks for guessing. Glad it would inspire such rambling.   
  
ishanadhalf- Thanks! I'v always wanted to create something that's awesome possum. I thought I'd get this part out, and I know I shoulda waited until I have more, but I couldn't help myself. A burning lawn, especially one the size of the institute lawn, would prbably bre eh coolest thing to see in the whole world. I'll watch out for any wild fires in Ontario, and when they happen, I can say I know the person who started this, officer. ;) Glad the review oder is figured out.  
  
Vagabond- Yeah, I know. Stupid machines. Don't worry, I've named mine, and now it has a personality. I only named it so I would have something to stick in between the explitives. (trnaslation, my computer bytes arse.) Remy's pay off is explained later (this chapterI think, yeah), and Bobby is just really _really_ lucky.  
  
Ariesesque-Hey, you reviewed! Alright! Yeah, Kitty's the kinda friend that most people dream of. . . before they wake up screaming. Remy's pyrotechnics will be explained, maybe. Good luck with the resolution!  
  
Sujakata-Wow, I'm saving this review in case I ever need to get revenge on anyone. These are good ideas, and maybe someone will be unlucky enough to get the entire treatment. No blood in this chapter, unfortunatly, but definitly more Rogue/Remyness.  
  
All I own is three binders full of comics, two Ani DiFranco CDs and the entire country of Hellifahknow (They asked me what the name of my country is and I said Hell if I know. Smart ass cartographers.). The entire popultaion is two, and they're on welfare, so I guess Marvel or Fox could sue me for them, but they're not very nice people, and make democracy immpossible.  
  
***  
Bobby, Kitty, and Kurt were now done arguing over who would talk. Kurt, who'd been elected, being her older brother and all, said simply, "You don't have to hide in your room all day. Ve'd be happy to help you vith your homework."  
  
"Yeah, he'll take the english, Kitty will do home ec. I'll do your science, and we'll get Remy in here to do your french."  
  
Speak of the devil, Remy chose that moment to think it was safe to exit the kitchen, where he and Storm had ben 'chatting' about how it couldn't of been him who left the ashes in the bathroom sink, because he _always_ smokes outside. He stopped behind the kitchen door and listened to Rogue and her three pursuers argue. He immediatly backed away from the door, and waited for the inevitable.  
  
It came quickly. Bobby barely knew what had happened, Rogue reacted so fast. She taclkled him, and it took the combined efforts of Kurt and Kitty to pull her off.  
  
Remy waited until all possible colateral damage from things being thrown at Bobby, who seemed to have a permanent foot in mouth problem, was done. He then walked out and stopped Rogue from killing her room mate and brother, who had been holding her, fighting them like a harpy, away from Bobby, if only by a few inches. His method was simple enough. He put his arms around her, from behind, and held her arms down, making sure not to hurt her. She struggled for a few more seconds before she relaxed and held still.  
  
Once Rogue calmed down, she tolerated Remy holding her for about two seconds; which was how long it took her to realize the others were watching. She pushed him away, and had he been anyone but Remy he would have landed flat on his ass. However, he was too smooth to do anything like embarrass himself in front of two girls. He did stagger a bit before getting his legs properly under him though.  
  
Kitty was watching with interrest. At the first sign her roommate was human she was going to take the strings with bells tied to them down, because they were ugly, even if they would warn her if Rogue was about to attack Kitty in her sleep.  
  
Kurt was watching with an odd mixture of interrest and protectiveness. If Rogue seemed to forget herself too much he was going to stop it however possible, because it was scary to think of his little sister, even an adoptive sister, falling into Remy's clutches. That and he had a whole lot of teasing to make up for.  
  
Bobby was taking notes. He needed to remember exactly what he was seeing if he was going to survive living with an irate Rogue. The fact that he had a bruise on his chest from when she'd tackled him didn't bother him at the moment; although it would seem prophetic by the end of the day.  
  
Rogue turned around to look at Remy. He shrugged and smiled. She shook her head and turned to Bobby, Kitty, and Kurt, who were trying to look like they would never ever mention what they'd just seen to anyone ever. Kurt even teleported Kitty and Bobby out of the hallway. They teleported into the kitchen where they could at least hear what was going on.  
  
Rogue shook her head and started for her room again, only to realize teat Remy was in her way. "Ya wanna move? Ah got homework ta do."  
  
He smiled down at her and she had to will herself not to look like she gave a damn. He bent down next to her and said, "Yeah, an' beatin' de crap outta Bobby was part of it. C'mon, y' in too bad a mood to do anyhtin' but glare at y' books, an' dey'll prob'ly spontaniously combust if ya glare at 'em long enough."  
  
"Beatin' Bobby up was extra credit from onea his teachahs, an' Ah don't mind if mah french book catches on fire, especially if I don't see it burnin' until it's too late. How'dja talk with Ms. Munroe go?"  
  
"Fine, Amara bailed me out. How'd you know about that?"  
  
"Ah heard her sayin' she had ta talk to ya remember? Ah was waitin' ta see if you an' me could go get the stuff we'll need for spring break, because Risty wasn't home. The Enforcah was yellin' at ya so Ah just waved at ya and went to watch a movie with Sam, which was mah covah in the first place."  
  
"Yeah, I 'member now. You missed de session dis morning. Everyone was worried until Storm said she found ya on de couch asleep."  
  
"Really? Wow, they must be eitheh really paranoid, or think Ah'm really crazy, when _me_ skippin' on anythin' scares 'em. Not like Ah ment to anyway. Sam was watchin' 'The Matrix', an' Ah fell asleep on the futon. The bed part was folded up, so Ah was sleepin' on a bar. Now mah back hurts, an' Ah know Ah'm gonna get it when Ms. Munroe runs inta me an' Amara's not toastin' the lawn."  
  
"Well, glad to see we both had such a nice night."  
  
"Pfft."  
  
Remy laughed and Rogue smiled, which made him laugh even more. Rogue feigned hurt.  
  
"Ah don't know what's so funny."  
  
"Seein' you smile reminds me of when you were threatinin' Jean by starin' at her smilin'. That was probably de mos' interestin' breakfast I've ever eaten."  
  
Rogue smiled wider, remembering that breakfast well. She looked over at Remy, who was her planned partner in crime, and said, "So, since we didn't go last night, ya wanna go ta Spencer's now?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm gonna get one of dose Osbornes bobble head peices o' crap an' hide it under on of the seats in Scott's car."  
  
"Get Ozzy, an' stick 'im under the drivah's seat, so no one can get it out, an' we get to see Scott try to dig an agein' metal star out from undah his seat at every red light."  
  
"Dat y' revenge on Scott?"  
  
"Psh. He wishes. Ah haven't decided on one big thing ta do ta him, so Ah'm doin' all sortsa little things to make his vacation just a little bit worse."  
  
"Dat's evil. Wanna go get de stuff?"  
  
"With you?"  
  
Remy looked around, as if checking to see if someone else was there. Rogue sighed but couldn't help smiling . . .on the inside.  
  
"Doan see anybody else. 'Sides, y' know you can stand me f'r that long. It'll be fun."  
  
Rogue looked at his facial expression, and alarm klaxons started blaring in her head.  
  
"Ah swear on all things holy and unhoy that if you suggest Ah buy anythin' that ain't appropriate, or Ah'm just in the wrong mood, Ah will kill you, an' throw a party with your head as a decorative center piece. Ah will then draw on it and leave it in the House a Lords, so that british people can wonder where the bloody hell the head came from, understood?"  
  
Remy nodded his head, still smiling. "Glad you'd take the time t' get creative. I've always wanted t' have an overly elabrate death involving markers and british people."  
  
Rogue sighed at her failed atempt to scare him. "You are one sick puppy, Ah hope ya know."  
  
"Pot callin' de kettle black, chere."  
  
She smiled a little too sweetly, it scared him, because it wasn't the usual reaction he got from Rogue. "Yeah, and you jus insulted a crazy person."  
  
"A very pretty crazy woman, who apparently wants to go out wit' me."  
  
Rogue stopped smiling at all. She gave remy a look that siad, 'whatever progress you made was just undone.' "Yeah, Ah just can't resist ya. Pfft. I'll go out with ya when monkeys fly outta mah butt."  
  
"Dey do, I'm takin' pictures. Seriously, I might be jus' de thing f'r you."  
  
"Maybe, but Ah ain't gonna find out, got it?"  
***  
Yeah, I know. Hope ya liked it. I'd like to thank Ani DiFranco for writing the song I'm listening to now. Just fyi.  
Peace and Love,  
Panther Nesmith 


	5. The mall, & more conspiracy

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
ishandahalf-Who told you about the bug I have on your computer? Oh, you're. . .joking (nrevous laugh). I didn't just say that. I've always wanted incredibly elaborate death involving the cast of the Rocky Horor Picture Show. Oh, I'm greatly enjoying the partner in crime stuff. The implications make me laugh meniacally in antici. . .pation. My country is cool, and hey, it's America, we always have room for more (no matter what some arses who can't tell their elbows from their eyeballs say.)  
  
Sujakata-Yes, I'm pleased with the amount of Rogue Remyness. It was cute. I find insults to be the best form of flirting. This _is_ their ususal speech pattern. They're getting along when they can insult each other like that. You were of assitance every time you reviewed (that sounded corny. but it's true). You were all of assistance really. Even you PEOPLE WHO DON'T REVIEW! Sorry, but I figured a little sarcstic shouting was nessisary. Anywho, the smile will come in handy, and and the evil chuckel will too. Hear ya next time ya review.  
  
Disclaimer  
  
I own nothing! I want a quarter everytime someone says it! Pay up you guys! Actually, I don't even own nothing. That sucks. But I do have CDs and comics, so I'm happy as a clam at low tide.  
  
***  
Kitty, Kurt, and Bobby had been watching the whole time. Bobby was still taking notes, Kitty was rejoicing that her roommate was human again, and Kurt was watching it like a train wreck, he didn't want to stare, but couldn't look away.  
  
"So, we gona go, or am Ah gonna have ta deal with being seen with ya alone, in a hallway, not immasculatin' ya. Or worse yet, Ms. Munroe comin' back b'fo' ya've mad good ya escape."  
  
Remy looked over his houlder, once again looking for other people, this time in earnest. He looked back at Rogue, with a smile guaranteed to melt iron, and said, "Sure, but I'm drivin'."  
  
Rogue nodded and went down the stairs, while Remy grabbed the keys. Their stalkers, as Kurt saw himself and the other two, followed onto the landing.  
  
Rogue had the door open and was holding it for Remy, who was trying to figure out who's keys he'd grabbed without looking at them. He put his arm over her head, to hold the door for her, but by the time he made contact with it she was halfway to the garage and looking back at him with what would be called by generouse people as a smile, and most people as a half smirk. Remy shook his head and laughed to himself.  
  
Bobby and Kitty watched Remy walk out the door. Kurt had stopped paying attention after Rogue had slid out from under Remy's arm. He figured she had half a chance if she could pass up an invitation like that. When Remy turned to close the door he saw Bobby and Kitty watching,and tossed them a smile as he pulled the door closed.  
  
Kitty didn't blink for a couple seconds, because that was just the way most women reacted to that smile. Bobby laughed at Rogue, and, after seeing his partner in crime frozen momentarily, teased her mercilessly.  
  
Kitty's pause was only partly due to Remy's smile, however. Her highly developed criminal mind was turning what she'd just seen over and over in her mind. She had a devious plan to distract Rogue from any thought of revenge. She just needed help. . .  
  
"Kurt, Bobby, I've figured out how to save our butts."  
  
Both Bobby and Kurt perked up immediatly. They'd been sweating since Rogue had told them 'revenge is a dish best served cold'. Now Kitty was going to save them from eating a big serving of cold revenge? Bobby was thanking the god of pranksters, while Kurt was looking at Kitty, motioning for her to go on.  
  
"Okay, if we, like, hook her up with Remy, he'll keep her from killing us, out of gratitude, and she might not kill us out of gratitude anyway. Or, Remy'll keep her, ahem, busy long enough for us to get to Canada with new names and identities. Either one works for me."  
  
Kurt looked at Kitty like she'd sprouted a third, evil, latin speaking arm. "Are you freaking nuts? Rogue vill either kill us all for even trying, or I'll be hooking my sister up wis. . . him."  
  
"Okay, I don't know about my fuzzy german comrad, but hooking Rogue up with anyone who'll keep her busy long enough for me to run away and become a lumberjack is okay by me. I'm in." Bobby stood next to Kitty, who was looking at Kurt with puppy eyes.  
  
Kurt shook his head and started to walk toward his room. Kitty stopped him, and gave him her sweetest look.  
  
"Kurt, you won't, like, tell Rogue what you heard will you?"  
  
Kurt considred for a moment. "If you don't tell her I know, I won't tell her what I know, deal?"  
  
Kitty shook his hand. "Deal."  
  
Kurt 'ported to his room, and as an after thought grabbed the phone to call Amanda. He then had to hunt down someone else to talk to her parents, who were screening her calls. This usually required owing someone a favor. The things he did for love.  
  
---  
Rogue was inside the garage before Remy, and stopped to look at all the choices. The X-van, which would be too obvious, Logan's motorcycle, which was off limits unless you liked to loose all your extremities, Jean's SUV, no thanks, and Scott's baby. None of these were likely choices for a vehicle.  
  
Remy came in and Rogue finally got a good look at the keys in his hands. She then realized he'd grabbed them without looking.  
  
"Those are the keys ta Logan's bike."  
  
Remy looked down at his hand, and realized they were. He looked at Rogue and smiled, something he was doing way too often. He realized that he needed to do something beside smile and expect the women to fall before him, since it only worked if they were Kitty, Amara, or Jubilee.  
  
"Hmm, so they are. Problem?"  
  
Rogue looked at him trying to decide if her was insane or just stupid. She finally decided he'd finally drunk away his last brain cell.  
  
"Umm, yeah. We'll die if we take his bike."  
  
"Yeah, an' dere's no place f'r the stuff we're gonna buy." He said with the devil's own smile. Rogue watched him inspect the cars in the garage with a bit of waryness, and a bit of anticipation. Which car would he pick?  
  
He walked over to Scott's baby, tossing the keys in his hand on the work table. Scott, who had faith in the locks on the garage and his fellow X-men (mistake all the way around. Didn't he learn from Joyride?), had left the doors unlocked, and the top off. Remy sat down in the driver's seat and had the car running in ten seconds (okay, eight and a quarter, but that's beside the point). Rogue shook her head and climbed into the car herself.  
  
"Ya do know Scott's gonna give himself an aneurism yellin' at us when we get back."  
  
"If everyt'in' goes right, no one'll notice it's gone. Scott's watchin' Saturday morning cartoons with Dr. McCoy."  
  
"Ya know, when most people say that, they get caught almost immediatley."  
  
"You're underestimatin' de hold Yu Gi Oh! has on those two."  
  
With those reassuring words, Remy and Rogue headed off to begin Rogue's plan for revenge.  
  
---  
Later, in a shopping mall far far away (since the Bayville one still isn't fixed), Rogue was comparing the maximum prison sentence for homicide and how much she really wanted the world to be down one pain in the ass flirt.  
  
Said flirt was holding what had to be the most . . .sparse piece of lace Rogue had ever seen. Not that she didn't have a few things that one only ever _really_ wore in private, but she couldn't even imagine that thing being enough material to be worth itching like crazy, which it obviously would, since lace itches anyway, and putting lace over very, sensitive, areas was kinda retarded.  
  
The man holding it was trying not to look like he was laughing his ass off on the inside. He'd only absentmindedly wandered in to women's lingerie, and he would deny finding himself there on purpose on this occasion 'til the day he died, which currently looked to be that day anyway.  
  
"That bettah be for you."  
  
"Yeah, I t'ink I look real good in lace." Rogue's mind proccesed that quickly, and she blushed while trying to flush the image out of her mind. Remy noticed this but didn't comment. "Guess that means y' doan' want it."  
  
"Not wanting it doesn't even begin to describe what Ah feel fo' that."  
  
"Well, y' said y' wanted somethin' dat would look good on you, an' I thought dis fit de bill." [On a side note, it would also look good laying on my floor somewhere, completely forgotten.]  
  
[Gawd, what's he imaginin' about me now? Probably not half as bad as what Ah'm thinkin'. Why the hell won't my imagination leave me alone! Kurt and Kitty an' the rest are responsible for this. They shall pay.]  
  
"'Sides, I din't know y' liked Lazarus stuff anyway." Remy said, breaking her out of her trance, while wondering what had caused it.  
  
"Ah don't really." Rogue shrugged, and things between them returned to normal.  
  
Remy inwadly sighed. Even Rogue couldn't stop acting like a girl when she was at the mall. Knowing the answer before he asked, the next sentence out of his mouth was, "So why're we here?"  
  
Rogue didn't realize she sounded _exactly_ like Kitty until she'd already answered him. "Half-off sale mighta had somethin' ta do with it." [That's it, Ah'm movin' into Jean's room. Let those two put up with each other.]  
  
Remy put down the underwear in mock (and a little real), indignation. "Half off a piece of crap is still too much to pay."  
  
"Agreed, let's go."  
  
And with those words they started off toward the main part of the mall. To get there however they had to pass both the perfume and make up counters. Both of them shuddered when they realised this.  
  
Remy decided that if anyone could get by perfume women unharrased it certainly wasn't him, and would probably be Rogue. So, feeling a bit useless, he followed close behind Rogue, who tossed glares around liberally, and they both escaped relatively unscented. Something they both thanked God for immediatly afterward.  
  
Their luck changed when they were almost home free. Remy had taken point this time, since most make up ladies were disturbed at the thought of giving a man make up advice. They could not make it past an especially desperate Maybeline sales woman.  
  
It was Rogue's bad judgement to back off from Remy a little, because as soon as the Maybeline woman saw her make up there was an audible gasp. "Ma'am! Please stop! I'm giving out free make up advice, and I would like to help you! Purple is a fall color! It's the begining of April! You would look great in. . ."  
  
Rogue turned to glare at the poor make up monger. With studied paitence, and almost palpable uber-annoyance, Rogue sauntered over to the make up counter.  
  
She leaned in closer to the woman, who was now wishing she'd taken a lesson from the more senior Wet 'n' Wild woman.  
  
"Look, wench. Ah don't want yo' make up advice. AH don't need to be told what ta put on mah face by someone who needs a mirrah ta find her sense of self. Leave me the hell alone." It wasn't the words as much as the woman saying them. IF anyone can reek unholy wraith, it's Rogue.  
  
The Maybeline woman nodded and backed up, knocking over an open bottle of foundaton. Rogue turned around and left the store with Remy, who was the only one to see her smiling evilly, while the woman tried to clean up a spilt bottle of ivory foundation with Kleanex. Which amused the other make up mongers to no end.  
  
The poor woman who hads dared to question Rogue's choice of make up was forever known among those who'd witnessed this event as Autumn, which proves that you have to have a certain amount of retardedness to work behind a make up conter.  
  
---  
Once they were out into the main part of the mall Rogue's satisfaction with her victory over the irritating make up woman wore off, and she was just annoyed. She sat down on a fountain outside of J.C. Penny's and scowled at the general vicinity of Lazarus.  
  
Remy noticed that Rogue was slowly less happy about scaring the bejeesus out of the woman before she sat down for a nice soothing scowl. He sat down next to her and she scooted over to put more room between them.  
  
"Ah hate people like her. They don't have two braincells ta rub togethah, an' they think they know bettah than anyone who does somthin' diff'rent. Wench. God, Ah can't even think of a torture painful enough to use on her. Ah hope she gets skin cancer, and has to have a prostetic face."  
  
She sighed, but didn't continue to wish diseases on Autumn. Remy started to put his arm around Rogue, but remembered who he was about to hug, and dropped his arm.  
He settled for asking her if she felt better.  
  
"Can Ah go back an' buy a buncha really dark purple make up from the woman next ta her b'fo' we leave?"  
  
"Sure, I doan see any problem with dat."  
  
"I'm okay." She stood up and stretched a little. Not full blown hands above your head stretching, but 'move my shoulders because I'm in a public place and don't want to show everyone my stomache' stretching. They both went to Spencers and were left alone; until a little girl came in with her older brother.  
***  
  
Peace and Love,  
Panther Nesmith 


	6. Vamires and Flying Monkeys

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
Starligtz-I know, I loved posting such a long chapter (gives self congratulatory hug). anyway, it will get better, hoo boy will it get better. You couldn't be more wrong about said older brother if you tried, but good guess. Remy jealousness would be fun though. . .  
  
ShojoAngel-Yeah, I know. I totally hear you about being sick of reruns. Oh, btw, wehere the heck did you come from? You're not one-a my regulars. Are you new to this fic, or just didn't want to review until now? Just curious.  
  
Lady MR-Yeah, tell me about it. I was a typing fiend. (Family reunion? No, I need to get this next part typed) Um, if I tell you those were the jokes and the rest of this is absolute sap would you keep reading it? (Its not, but I'm feeling a bit of pressure from that last sentence.) If you like that amount of Rogue Remyness, you'll love this chapter, chica MR. Is this soon enough?  
  
Disclaimer  
I wish I owned the X-men in some way shape or form, because then common mistakes would be averted. Gambit's eyes would always be the correct color, Rogue's stripe would stay the same width and length, Storm would have never gone through the mohawk and leather vest phase in the eighties, minor things like that.  
  
***  
Rogue had the misfortune to be standing next to the lava lamp the guy was buying for his dorm. He walked over with his little sister, and the thirty bucks he'd been given to babysit. Rogue was contemlating getting a black light bulb for her desk lamp. You don't really want to know why.  
  
The little girl saw a black boot, and looked up to see who owned it. The litle girl screamed when she saw Rogue, and hid behind her brother. "Look Andrew! I told you vampires shop here!" The girl's older brother looked where his sister was pointing and told her that vampires couldn't go out in the day time. He would have apologized if Rogue hadn't already pushed past him.  
  
Rogue was storming past a really curious register person, shoving the stuff she had in her hands onto the counter and going to scream in unholy rage in the bathroom. Remy had looked up when the little girl screamed. If he had been a stranger he would have laughed at what the girl had said. His eyes found Rogue just in time to watch her stalk out of the store. Pocketing the stuff in his hands, he followed her.  
  
She was headed toward the food court toilets, so he decided to get a drink while he waited for her. It took a couple minutes, and he was half way sure that if he concentrated he could hear a stream of curse words screamed in a distinctive southern accent, but it might have been his imagination.  
  
While Rogue was removing her vocal chords by force, Remy saw something in the window of one of those overly feminine card shops. It was cute, but he didn't hold that against it, because it was perfect in every other way. He went over and aquired one quickly, well at least before Rogue was done screaming.  
  
Either way, a few minutes later a very red faced Rogue came out of he bathroom, still minorly fuming. He supposed a bad night's sleep, compounded with a double dose of ridicule, not to mention what had happened at the institute, had been the cause of this. She sat down across from him and he pushed a drink toward her, scooting his chair next to her, to put the plan he had formed while she'd invented new profanities in the bathroom into action.  
  
Rogue, who didn't scoot away this time, took a long drink of her Coke and a deep breath. She sat quietly for a minute, and Remy pulled what he'd bought at the cute feminine store out of his pocket.  
  
He positioned it just right, calculating how hard he would need to throw it, and where it would land. Then, with extreme care, he lobbed it behind Rogue, purposley hitting her while he did so. Rogue looked at her shopping partner, still more than a little upset about the whole frickin' world mocking her, and he shrugged.  
  
She gave him one last strange look before looking behind her. There sat, at a perfectly calculated angle, a gorilla dressed up as an angel, complete with wings, flow-y white peasant shirt, and what had been a halo before it'd been bent down into the back of the poor stuffed animal's shirt. She picked it up, and Remy's face was one of mock surprise.  
  
"Well, I dunno how dat got dere, but obviously it is a monkey, an' since it was foun' in de vicinity of your," [very nice] "butt, I think it's safe to assume dat's it's origin. I jes' wish I had m' camera."  
  
"That was subtle." Rogue studied the stuffed animal for a minute, knowing full well what he was implying with this stupid toy. She was thinking how to answer him. Did she like him like that? Well, yeah, but she would never live down admitting she did. Was he worth the ridicule? She definitly had reason to believe so, but she was sure other girls had thought so too. The question was really how much did that last fact matter to her, and if she was ready to let him in.  
  
She pulled the halo out of the gorilla's shirt and stalled for time.  
  
"Whadja do ta the poor thing?"  
  
"Figured an angel would be misleading." He said, hoping he wasn't showing how much he was afraid she'd say she didn't like him like that.  
  
Both sat in silence until Rogue said, "Remy, Ah. . ."  
***  
Ooh! What will she say? I'm taking a poll, so gimme your best guess. (the outcome of the pole does not affect the outcome of the story. It's already typed out, and I just wanna know what you think. Sorry it's short, but I really wanted to end it there.)  
Peace and Love,  
Panther Nesmith 


	7. The answer, and one strange femme

Hey All!  
Reports of my death are only slightly exagerated (My sanity died a while ago, but other than that. . .), and reports of my laziness and refusal to wite anymore are my enemies trying to take over my ideas. Well I say YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM! Unless you're going to put them on a website, or MiST them, or whatever.  
  
Um, I'm haveing a nice four day weekend after exams. I think I passed them all except tech ed. But it was only a semester class, and I had an A in it until then. Anyone who has taken Psycology review and tell me if you liked it, because that's what I have in leu of Tech Ed. starting on Tuesday.  
  
Yes, this begining is exceptionall long for a reason. Just a little bit more tension. . . What will Rogue say? How will her answer affect them? Will Kurt kill Remy if he touches Rogue? Some of these and more in this chapter.  
  
But first,  
Reviews  
  
Lady MR- Don't kill me! I'm just my muse's slave. I only write it, I don't control it! There will be Rogue/Remy interactions. Hoo boy. The interract so much. . . anyway, Um, I kinda lost my train of thought. Er. . . Oh yeah. Please don't kill me!  
  
Ishandahalf-Glad I could help with the exam blahs. I hated my adv. bio. exam, but mainly because that class is crap. Studying? What is this studying? I have never done such a thing. Yeah, I'm a slacker. He's a lumberjack and he's okay. . . Wow, a rabid plaid fan. You probably like Wolverine then huh? The endings um, somthing, yeah. Gawd. His hair is terrible! It can't look like that all the time! Maybe his black head thingy messes it up. I hope so. *shudder* ugh. The one bright point in the whole friggin' hour of *covers mouth with both hands until it stops running.* Sorry, spoilers bad. We should both have more influence on the world. It might not be better, but it'd be more fun. And yeah, Damn straight.  
  
Starlightz-Yeah, The monkey thing was fun. The little girl is my youngest brother Jacob. I don't know why, but she is. Oh, Heck yeah, I woulda leaned down and pretended to go for her throat (carpe jugulum). You're not twisted, it's just the light refracting in a different way. And as for her answer. . . you'll see.  
  
Fangirl-Oh, don't cry. I promise that if you're reading this I've updated.  
  
Sujakata-Yeah, I am rude. You think the monkey thing was ingenuius? *star eyes* Wow, thanks. As for the stars in my eyes. They're in perfect health and would like to thank you for your concern.  
  
Disclaimer  
Uh, I'm taking over the world eventually, and I'm going to put all the cute men Marvel owns in my harem, but until then, they belong to Marvel. Pity, I'd be a lot nicer to them. *pouty face* They'd still get to see their girl friends and wives, and they wouldn't die in horrible ways, and Angst would be eliminated. Of course this means I would have to have Scott & Jean bound and gagged in padded rooms, since they seem to be suceptible to death and angst, but otherwise, it's all good. I'm also curing stupid, and making college cost as much as high school.  
  
Anyway, The story begins. . . wait for it. . .now!  
***  
"Ah'm not ready ta go out with anyone yet. Ah do like ya." Rogue's voice lost any power it had and what she said next was barely above a whisper, but Remy heard ever word. "Ah'm sorry. Ah just. . .can't"  
  
Rogue sighed and stared at the paper cup that contained her drink, while Remy internally told her to change her mind before she looked up. He then wondered why it mattered so much. He wasn't mad that she had been able to resist him, because truth be told he wasn't trying too hard. He didn't know where the monkey idea came from, but was now rethinking himself. So to avoid asking himself questions he didn't want the answers to, he decided it didn't matter. Then he had to comunicate this to Rogue.  
  
"It's okay Rogue, I understand. Y' wanna go get de stuff y' need f'r your revenge?"  
  
Rogue looked up, and wondered what the hell sort of mood swing medicine he was on. She was supposed to be able to change her mood at the drop of a hat, not him. Deciding to go with it, because it was less akward, she shook her head.   
  
"Nah. They didn't have any fake blood. That's all Ah need to buy. Well, that and classics, like shaving cream, colored hair spray, and horrendous make up. But Ah'm getting those for free when I see Risty tomorrow."  
  
"What? Oh, hey Rogue!" Rogue looked around the food court for the source of the voice. Risty was walking over to their table. Rogue grabbed a chair and slid it in front of her, much to Remy's chagrin. He wasn't quite sure about this english chic. She seemed too broody to be a noraml girl. But then again so did Rogue. But then again (again), Rogue had an excuse, she wasn't a normal girl. But, regardless of what he thought, there she was, in all her purple, five foot five glory.  
  
"Great to see ya. Sorry I wasn't home last night, but me gran'mum and me went out to eat." [I should have killed Todd and come to hang out with you. Why do you hang around with that man?]  
  
"It's okay, Ah got anothah ride. Sounds like you had a good time last night."  
  
Risty smiled, but inside Mystique gagged. "Oh yeah." [I had to clean up one of Todd's experiments while the wusses I'm trying to train ran away from it. We had to call animal control eventually, and I have an Aussie camped out on my couch, for God knows what reason. I definitly had _lots_ of fun last night.]  
  
"Well, I'd love ta stay an' chat, but I'm going back to England tomorrow night, and need to get something for my cousin."  
  
Rogue looked unhappy and Mystique wondered what the matter was. "I'm only going to be gone for a month, luv."  
  
"Oh, usually you aren't gone for so long." [Usually I didn't have to whip some losers into something resembling fighters] Mystique thought, keeping Risty's face attentive and understanding. "We're have in' a goin' away party next week, an' Ah wanted ta invite you."  
  
"Sorry I have to take a rain check but. . ."  
  
"No, it's okay, because we're goin' ta London. Didn't ya say you're from around there?" (did she? I don't think she said where in England, so I'm probably safe.)  
  
Mystique cursed in her head. Yes she had. Her cover might be righteously blown if she didn't find a way to fix it. Unfortunatly, Risty's mouth and Mystique's brain were on two diffrent frequencies. "Yeah. You've gotta look me up so we can hang out!" Mystique needed a lot of will power not to clamp her hand over he mouth to stop it from going on. She sighed with relief when her cell phone rang.   
  
"'Lo? Oh, right." Risty put her hand over the mouthpiece and looked at Rogue. "My gran'mum; I've got to go. See ya soon!" Risty walked as fast as she could into the crowd.  
  
Remy looked at the retreating back of Rogue's best friend. "Dat is one strange femme."  
  
When Mystique was out of hearing range she continued talking to Lance. "I don't care why he's sleeping on our couch, get him off. If he really wants to join us, tell him to help you losers clean up, and that he's sold his soul to me. Got it?" She heard LAnce grunt and a yelp from farther off. Then someone swearing in what could only be australian slang (nothing else sounds like Australian slang). [Why do I attract the idiots? Couldn't you stay with Magneto?] "Lance, don't kick anyone else, unless they're Scott or Baldy, got it? And hide my lighters and liquer."  
***  
Oh, I forgot. In the last chapter there was suposed to be a line that said Gorillas aren't monkeys. I had to edit it out but I liked it so much I put it in the foot notes. It was my etire motivation to make the atuffed thing a Gorilla and not a monkey. At least I think they're apes and not monkeys. I could be wrong and just look stupid now. Either way. . .  
Peace and Love,  
Panther Nesmith 


	8. Not exactly Julius Ceasar

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
Lady MR-Thanks for letting me live. You think I'm going to let them stay friends? Whahahahahahahahahahahahaha! *I fall to the ground laughing my arse off. My alterego, The Great Misanthrope! comes in and nudges me with her toe. She then hauls back and kicks me hard in the butt.* Oww. Sorry. Oh dear, I've misled one of my readers. Tsk. Bad me. Trust me, they're either going out, or not friends at all. I'm kinda like that. Glad you liked Risty/Mystique.  
  
ishandahalf-Wow, your review is longer than the chapter. Um yeah, I'd spend the world's last mminutes getting incredibly drunk so that it won't hurt when I die. Kinda like in Hitchhiker's guide to th galaxy, only with no hope of a savior. I understood that, but I do plan on getting drunk when I'm about to die, used a hitchhiker refernce to illustrate this, and am a rabid fangirl, so. . . Mushiness is like water. Good in moderation, but you can drown in it. Hope you did well on your exams. Why did you read my fic when you need to be studying? *Frown* I sounded like my mom. Read away Ish. I'm sure Bobby sleeps all night, and works all day, when he can't get out of it. He probably sleeps all night, and half of the day, then does nothing if left to his own devices. I wonder if he puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars? Yeah, Wolverine's wardrobe sucked. Denial makes our world better, trust me. If it looks like that with out the head gear, can we live with it? Right on! DOWN WITH THE MULLET! NO MORE THIRD PERSON! GIVE US A FORKIN' BREAK! Okay, you get the other rabid fan girls together, and we'll storm Marvel. WE DEMAND TO HAVE INFLUENCE! I WANT TO CHANGE THE (marvel) WORLD! Yes, God help thyose who dare argue, because I'm sure no one else will. Evil laugh on three. 1, 2, 3 Mwahahahahahahaha!  
  
Starlightz-A complete rejection would be counterproductive. Beside, this _is_ still Remy we're talking about, even if he does have bad hair, and head gear, and. . . anyway. Yeah, next story (aww crap, I have to write it now.) the poo hits the fan. Oh, they'll deserve every bit of what they get by next story, trust me. They darn well should suspect it though. After publicly humiliating her, and teasing her mercilessly since then, they're gettin' it good.  
  
Disclaimer  
  
I will own them when Ish, my fellow fangirls, and I storm Marvel and make the X-men's lives happy (for a little bit at least), but untill then, they aren't in the hands of those who love them. . . yet.  
  
***  
Bobby and Kitty were still out in the hall plotting when Ororo came in from watering the ignited lawn. One look at them told her evil was afoot.  
  
"What are you two doing?" She asked, calmly.   
  
Kitty, who was not used to being a Brutus, freaked out, and dragged Bobby into the nearest room, which happened to be a bathroom. Ororo shook her head, after wondering, briefly, if she really wanted to know. She then went to her room to change into her gardening clothes. Nothing relaxed her as much as gardening, and something told her she'd need to be relaxed.  
  
Bobby looked around at the place where Kitty had taken him to talk. He decided, for once, discretion is the better part of valor and sat quietly on the toilet seat while Kitty thought about how stupid she was being.  
  
"Okay Bobby, I need you to do something that may make Rogue want to hurt you."  
  
Bobby looked at Kitty, remembering how not half an hour ago it had taken Kurt, Kitty, and Remy to stop Rogue from dismembering him.  
  
"Kitty, I'm afraid anything dangerous has to have some reward beyond the enjoyment. I do have a debt to pay off, so if you would. . ."  
  
"How much Bobby?"  
  
"Twenty dollars?"  
  
"Deal. You get it when they're a couple."  
  
Bobby looked unhappy. "In other words, when I die, and freeze Hell over as a service to its inhabitants?"  
  
Kitty sighed. "That's why I came up with this ingenious plan to hook them up. Duh."  
  
---  
"Okay Bobby, do you know what you have to do?" Kitty drilled, trying to seem like a female Major Payne and missing horribly. She just seemed like a louder version of herself. It would have to do.  
  
"You do realize that Rogue never comes back from going out with Remy in any mood to kill anyone, right? I mean, it's the only time we're anything close to safe, and you want me to disrupt it?" Bobby marveled at Kitty's plan, as he opened another box of Jell-o.   
  
"She'll just have to get over it. You know this is the only way."  
  
"Wrong. I could still go to Canada and. . ."  
  
"Bobby, if you say you're going to be a lumberjack one more time, I will phase a spatula into your liver, understood?"  
  
Bobby threw down the empty package of Jell-o. "I'm tired of being threatened, and pushed around. Dammit, I have rights too! I demand fair treatment, and a right to live. I'm not gonna do this."  
  
"I'll give you thrity dollars."  
  
"Seventy" Bobby said, crossing his arms and trying to look shrewd.  
  
"Forty." Kitty mimiced him. Bobby put his arms down and gave her an angry look.  
  
"Sixty." Kitty looked at him angrily, and was better.  
  
"Fifty."  
  
Bobby smiled. "Deal. Glad to d buisness with you Kitty. Okay, hand me the Kool-aid, and pray." He turned back to the bowl in front of him and began to sing, sing, sing. "I' a lumber jack and I'm okay, He sleeps all night and he works all day. . ."  
  
---  
"Why are we at the hardware store?"  
  
"I need to get something I can only find here." Remy said, making a bee line for the wall coverings aisle. Rogue was too busy looking at the ugly shelves and the dusty floor to notice where they were going.  
  
"What in the Hell couldja want from here?"  
  
"Paint."  
  
Rogue looked at him oddly. He shrugged and waited for her to ask him why. Rogue watched him, waiting for him to tell her why. They stood there mock ignoring each other for a full ten minutes. Finally Rogue broke. "What in the world is the paint fo'?"  
  
"T'ought y'd never ask. I'm givin' de proffesor's wheel chair racin' stripes."  
  
They looked at each other for two seconds. Rogue started to laugh, but tried not to. Remy started to laugh too, and soon they were trying not to fall on their butts they were laughing so hard. Once they started to calm down, Rogue managed to get her thoughts on the situation out.  
  
"Gawd, that'd be great. Go Speed Racer go!"  
  
This started a whole new laughing spell, and they got several odd looks before they were calm enought to pick out he appropriate paint color for the proffesor. Bright pink.  
  
"You're kidding right? I'm not _dat_ evil."  
  
"Yeah you are. C'mon, If yo' gonna do it, why halfass it?"  
  
Remy pondered that for a minute. "Hmm, good point, bad paint. How 'bout paintin de whole thing red, an' giving him black stripes?" Rogue paused to think what that would look like.  
  
"Sounds great. Ya need any help gettin' to his chair?"  
  
"Non, but I might need y' t' keep Logan outta dis. Doan wanna piss of m' drinkin' buddy after all."  
  
Rogue looked at Remy incredulously. "Ah sho' hope ya ain't tellin' me ta do what Ah think you are." Rogue gave him a look that said 'be joking, or rethink that'.  
  
"'Course not. Jus'. . .make sure he ain't sniff round de proffesor's room on our first night in London. Dat's all I'm askin'. How is your problem."  
  
"Deal, if you'll keep him busy on the second night. Make 'em sweat longer."  
  
"Only you twist dis to y' own evil gain." Remy said smiling at her. She looked up at him, with an evil smile, before pretending to be offended.  
  
"Ah have no idea what made ya think such a thing about me. Ah ain't been nothin' but nice ta them lately."  
  
"Yeah, right. Whenever you've been nice, it was always with dis look dat said they'd pay f'r what ever they'd done.  
  
"So? Ah didn't disembowl anybody."  
  
Remy looked her square in the eyes. He then coughed (covering his mouth of course), and somehow it sounded incredibly like he'd said Bobby, and not just innocently coughed (Note the sarcasm). "Ugh, must be de sawdust in de air. Let's go."  
  
Rogue gave him a small glare before following him out. She didn't notice until they were out of the store, and in Scott's car that Remy hadn't paid. She sighed and shook her head. Maybe people never do change somethings about themselves.  
  
***  
Okay you know the drill. REVIEW!  
Peace and Love,  
Panther Nesmith 


	9. Who gave Bobby the codes for the sprinkl...

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
Ishandahalf-Ah, the tropical scene would be nice, especially since it's now officially warm if the temperature's freezing. Who does need good marks? Not I (when I'm flipping burgers, come in and say hi). Riots _are_ fun, but then again I'm from Cininnati (Ohio joke, no one else cares about Cincinnati). Yes, our resounding evil laughter will shake the continents, and bring the usurpers and the rebels to their knees!   
Um, yeah, the review. I'm gonna have to put in a _lot_ of tag team insanity. I don't actually get a lot in, but it's big. The lumberjack song is now a running joke. Yay for me, I have a running joke! I hate typing english accents. My sympathy chica. foiled is a fun word, so all is forgiven. yes, HOORAY FOR DENIAL AND RIOTS! Mwahahahahahaha!  
  
Lady MR-YEs, they are going to London for spring break. The prof. decided they neede a break, ya know, from barely missing having to save the world *Angel comes up behind me and gives a thumbs up.* Oh yeah, Warren's happy because I'm not making him sell out for a pair of wings. *wink to Warren, who leaves the room.* The wheelchair idea didn't make it in until I edited. I then smacked my absent minded forehead. Sometimes I'm such an idiot. Um, they can't go out until the end of the fic, because I'm not writing the days in between the current Saturday, and the day before they leave for England (what am I doing to myself? I can't write an English accent). I will write more.  
  
Starlightz-Yeah, everyone should be quaking with fear. I myself coudn't go to sleep untill I had typed out the next part and knew it would come out okay (which it does, in the end). I have no idea how Rogue's gonna distract him. I'm taking suggestions.  
  
Ariesesque-You can't really see that, but I'm gonna describe it pretty well. Will that do? I don't know what they'll think of next. They haven't told me.   
  
Toddfan-Oh yeah, Bobby's gonna get it good.  
  
Sujakakt-It's okay honey, just take an Advil and don't get an anurism. No, Mystique wasn't going to be in London, but now she will, which means I get to write some Brotherhood in England crazyness. This is where Rogue's gonna find out (in my fic) that Risty and Mystique are the same person. I figured they'd have to be friends first too. Like I've said before, a good fic relationship is like a play-dough sculpture, it gets stonger with time. I'm giving them time to get this strong. Major Payne is the best movie ever! Rock on! Ya know, I'd pay to see Bobby do that too. Remy liking her really isn't the problem though, so unless Bobby's gonna feel Remy up (ag! I didn't just type that, 'k? (make the bad pictures stop mommy. *whimper*)), That won't work. Good guess though. I had to work in shoplifting. My friends had a christmas present from me thanks to it. More blood isn't on the way, but public humiliation is comin' up, fresh and tasty. Eat up!  
  
Disclaimer  
  
All I need to do is call my fellow fangirls together and find an army surplus store, then I will own the x-men. (Um, can I get in trouble for saying that? It's meant in a jovial context, so I don't think so, but a lawyer probably wouldn't know about joking with a disclaimer. They're only behind tiny print in things a lawyer loves most(no offence to any lawyers who are reading this. don't sue!))  
  
***  
"Bobby! They're coming up the driveway. Are we ready?"  
  
"Aye cap'n."  
  
"Then engage plan 'Think of a Good Name.'" Their mandatory bad Star Trek parody done, the plan was set in motion.  
  
Bobby punched in a few numbers, and the lawn sprinklers kicked on, drenching the inside of Scott's convertible, and its occupants. Bobby then iced the foyer, and ran into the rec. room. Kitty picked up the bowl that contained almost every powderd food mix in the institute and took her position at the bottom of the steps, while two very soggy and angry southerners stood on the stoop seething, and kind of laughing in Remy's case, but mainly seething (Rogue was irked enough to make up for Remy's partial lack of anger). Kitty pushed herself onto the ice, purposely losing her ballance and plowing into the first person to walk through the door. The two of them went down with a squeal and an 'oof'.  
  
Rogue looked inside the door, where laying prone and covered in blue and red and green crap was the almighty Remy LeBeau, the man who never lost his ballance, ever. Laying underneath his legs, where she'd finall slid to a stop, was a relativley clean Kitty.  
  
The four boys in the rec. room ran out. Upon seeing the mighty Gambit spread out on the floor, covered in powdered drink mix, legs sprawled over Kitty was too much for all of them. They started laughing hysterically. Bobby most of all.  
  
"Please tell me I'm not sprawle on de floor, covered in Jell-o, bein' laughed at Bobby of all people."  
  
Rogue looked down at him. "Okay, Ah won't, but ya are. Although Bobby might be laughin' because he did it."  
  
Remy pondered this, while Bobby made himself scarse. Rogue thought about helpng Remy up, but her hands were in her coat pockets, and she felt the fur of the angel gorilla, and went to her room to dry off instead.  
  
"Hey Rogue, nice legs. Get in a mud fight?" Bobby said, unable to restrain his mouth. Rogue glared.  
  
"If Ah find out you had anythin' ta do with mah slidin' in the mud, Ah will garotte ya with ya intestines, an' wear your face as a hat, undahstood?" Rogue said, going up to her room to fume, and later come back down calling for Bobby's blood. But for now she was only minorly pissed, off, and willing to dry herself off and save her revenge for later. It is, after all, a dish best served cold.  
  
But before that, an even more annoyed Remy was up and in the shower, determined to get Bobby back. He would talk to Rogue once he got dressed. She was the queen of painful revenge after all. She'd help him too. It made him smile that he'd managed to like the one girl who could make people respect anyone in a twelve foot readius of her when she was in the mood. He could have worked with a twelve inch radius, but this was not the time to ponder his first strike out.  
  
Kitty watched them go upstairs. "Did you. . ?"  
  
Bobby nodded and stood next to her, trying not to let the now uninterested Sam, Robeto, and Ray hear. "Yeah, it's not exactly going perfectly to plan though."  
  
Kitty thought it over. She walked slowly to the living room, not really paying attention to anything. "I know, but it, like, might still, like, come out alright." [Okay, being in close proximity of a vry tight booty is not good for the mental faculties of a teenage girl. Wake up Kitty, no time to loose your head over a nice ass.]  
  
Bobby looked at her and narrowed his eyes a little, trying to look like Ororo when she was onto something, but missing horribly, and manging to look like a constipated Bobby. "If you say so. I do believe that Rgue was supposed to be under Remy's legs, and not you. But, if you think the plan will still work. . ."  
  
"I do." Kitty said, ignoring the tone of Bobby's voice. Sometimes it was best to think of people making fun of you a peons.  
  
"Then let's do this all the way." Bobby said, suddenly gung-ho again.  
  
---  
"Robert Kevin Drake! Ah swear by all things holy ya're gonna pay fo' this!"  
***  
Ooh. He better pack his bags and steal Logan's flannel shirts, cause thi boy needs to get his arse to Canada soon.  
Okay you know the drill. REVIEW!  
Peace and Love,  
Panther Nesmith 


	10. Sugar, and why Kitty's gonna be mad Bob...

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
Starlightz- I hope I don't disappoint. It'll just be Bobby, and isn't comming up until this chapter, I think. It works out in an odd way. It _would_ have gone right, but. . . you'll see.  
  
Lady MR-I know it was short, but I had to give myself a set up. It's just my style. I'll try to make this one longer. Thanks for reviewing when you had nothing to say. Rogue and Remy get him back in this chapter. Lotsa revenge and counter-revenge in this one.  
  
ishandahalf-I'm going to work at Burger King. I don't really like McDonalds. I'll give ya all the fries you want if you'll talk my boss into not making me wear a hair net (eww, I grossed myself out). Hot damn is fun to say, er, write, er, whatever. Jovial is a fun word. So is labyrinth. I hafta use that word at least once in this fic. Suicidal is the best word. Insane and devious work too. I think drugs are in large supply in the institute (Jean just _thinks_ she hears voices). Woo! I'll meet you at the nearest karoke bar. Don't worry, we'll all be dead so no one will make fun of you, unless we sit together on the bus to the afterlife. That'd be great. The bus ride to heaven (or hell). 'And she's taking the metro to heaven' (hmm, not as catchy). Who wouldn't want to be there? I mean c'mon, honestly if you're a fangirl for being minorly jealous of a fiction character for being under another fictional character's legs, then there's no hope for us. I put a line from a story in my quote book just because it contained the words 'Gambit' and 'Cincinnati', so don't feel bad. Bobby looking constipated seems to be a favorite. I'm have to take away his laxatives. What will we call our little army of screaming fangirls? We have to have a good name (not like Mr. Sinister, or something impossible to spell the same way twice, like Magneto). Um, this is overly long. Onward!  
  
Sujakata-Wow, I'm not that evil! *various mutters of yeah right from the various characters, along with some especially loud foot tapping action from Remy, who's a bit irked about the 'whole bring Gambit down to a human level' thing.* Okay, so I'm not evil enough to lock them in a cupboard. Maybe a closet, but not a cupboard. Rogue's gonna give everyone their just deserts, don't worry. I'm doing the little moments, and not the 'forced into close proximity of each other' idea. Not bad though. But also not the direction I want to go in. Their relationship would have to be built on something besides physical attraction, even if that is the first thing they noticed about each other.  
  
Disclaimer  
  
Um, I still don't own the X-men, even though I keep putting them on my christmas list. When Santa starts reading my list, I'll own them, and episodes will be short and a lot more evil. There will also be gratutous 'Remy's ass' shots, just because I can.  
  
***  
Bobby looked up at the doorway of the rec. room. There, in all her newly blue glory, was Rogue. A very ticked off Rogue. A very ticked off Rogue holding a hairdryer like a murder weapon. Bobby hid behind Kitty, who grabbed him and phased him into another room, where Remy was waiting, guarding the other door. Rogue ran in, smiling _very_ sweetly. Way too sweetly.  
  
Kitty looked at the walls. Her idea was obvious.  
  
"Ah wouldn't if Ah were you. Not if someone very mad at me knew so much about me."  
  
"Are you blackailing me?"  
  
"Yeah, Ah am." Rogue said smiling evilly at the terror in Kitty and Bobby's eyes. She sauntered over to her partner in revenge and leaned her elbow against his shoulders, having to stand on her toes to do so. "Well, Gambit, whacha think we should do with 'em?"  
  
"Sugar."  
  
This got him three identical weird looks. Remy looked around. Without a word, he reached into the pocket of his coat and pulled out a bag of sugar and a large water gun.  
  
"Oh. Sugah."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Gambit handed Rogue the bag of sugar, and pumped the super soaker. Kitty decided she didn't care who knew what, she was out of there. Rogue had anticipated this, and grabbed hold of her, just before Kitty phased through the floor. Kitty, who wasn't thinking straight, phased all three of them throught the floor.  
  
They landed in Hank's lab. More like crashed, becasue Kitty unphased halfway to the floor, so they all three dropped like stones. The chase was on as soon as they stood up, Bobby in the lead, knocking stuff off shelves, and benches, and everything else. He was slowly falling behind though, and getting more and more freaked out by the second.  
  
Hank watched the melee from the other side of his lab. Under normal circunstnces, he woud have told them to stop, and maybe restrain Rogue for a minute or two. However, one look at Rogue told him Kitty and Bobby were going to be punished enough, and Rogue was better left alone lately. The entire staff was worried about her repressing her obvious anger so much. This was a relief. Rogue being nice was almost scarier to them than Rogue being mean.  
  
Rogue wasn't worried about Hank stopping her. She was herding Kitty and Bobby toward a soggy, sugary fate. This was interrupted when Kitty remembered she could phase up, and grabbed Bobby, intent on reaching the first floor.   
  
Kitty had paniced. Later she would admitt she'd lost her head. It was harder to deal with someone being mad at you when they knew almost everything about you, than when they were strangers. Pissing off someone who can run faster than the lead weight you have to drag through the halls because he'd become frozen like a deer in headlights didn't help. Kitty was so glad she didn't have to take the stairs, until Rogue ran past her, and started running up them herself, screaming Kitty's position as she went.  
  
Gambit ran into the living room, where Kitty and Bobby were panting, and Kitty was trying to get a tharn (Deer in headlights (from Watership Down (Great book)) frozen in fear) Bobby to run again. He pumped the gun again, while Rogue can up to his side, panting, but looking malicious.  
  
"Well *pant* look wha *cough* we go' 'er' *deep breath*"  
  
"You got that?" Gambit said, inwardly very intrigued by the sight of Rogue panting like that. [Mind on y' work. Okay, on t'ree turn y' head. one, two. . . Dieu, she's leaning on her knees. I can't handle watchin' dis anymore.]  
  
Rogue nodded breathing heavily, but trying to force herself to stand up straight. She eventually suceeded, which helped Gambit focus.  
  
Gambit wasn't sure whether or not to be happy she'd straightened up. But that wasn't the matter at hand. Rogue had asked a question after all. "Well, chere, looks like we got a couple of sugar covered idiots." With one last pump, he sprayed Bobby, and the floor where Kitty used to be. She had decided sometime around Rogue's entrance that Bobby could take care of himself, and just waited until Gambit was about to spray them both to phase through the floor, to make it look like a reflex.  
  
Three minutes later, Rogue was wiping her hands on her pants, congratulating Remy on a job well done. Bobby stood in the middle of the living room, covered in partially frozen sugar water. He'd found out two seconds after icing up that ice hitting you hurt more than water hitting you.  
  
It was unfortunate for everyone involved that Ororo had seen the entire episode after they had settled in the living room. She cleared her throat and as soon as Rogue and Remy turned around there were three guilty, well, okay two guilty and one sorta humble looking faces telling her punishment needed handing out.  
  
"I worked very hard last night cleaning this room up. I made Sam leave his popcorn in the kitchen to make sure the carpet stayed nice. Now it is covered in water, and is that a bag of sugar?"  
  
Rogue looked down at the incriminating remanins of a paper bag in her hands. She was not getting out of this. Remy had started moving toward the window, which he would use to make his escape. There was a difference between narcing on your friends, and merely not getting in trouble along with them. Storm caught him first though.  
  
"And you, where are you going? I think you two have to clean up this room. It was not right to corner Bobby and Kitty in here, no matter what."  
  
"But Miz Munroe, Bobby an' Kitty are the ones who put colored drink mix in mah hairdryer, an' they covahed Remy in kool-aid an' Jell-o." Rogue got a prolonged angry look. She switched tactics. "Bobby an' Kitty also messed up the foyah. Look, the welcome mat is practically tie-dye."  
  
Storm looked out into the foyer. It was indeed an unholy mess. She turned to look at Bobby, eyes narrowed, nose flared, hands on her hips, everything about her telling about how angry she was. This was Storm's talent. She could use her entire body to convey a message, which was more threatening than evil glares alone.  
  
"Robert, you and Katherin will clean up the foyer. Any back talk will get you three more Logan sessions a day, late at night and early in the morning."  
  
"But, Kitty's not here."  
  
"She will still be downstairs." Bobby grumbled and walked slowly toward the door, still grumbling the entire way. "GO!" Bobby sped up a bit. Rogue and Remy tried not to laugh. Storm turned on them. "I don't see what's so funny. The same goes for you two. Clean now." Storm watched them start to pick up the wet magazines and left the living room.  
  
She went outside, apparently to calm down. Once she was outside she started to laugh. Soft at first, but getting stronger. She stopped just short of having to stop walking because a straight line was immpossible. She'd managed to freak most of the students she had been mad at out in one fell swoop. This made Ororo laugh for the first time in too long.  
  
---  
"Dis sucks."  
  
"Amen. Ug, Jubilee's 'Teen' is stuck to the carpet."  
  
"Eww." Remy agreed, picking up the soggy rugs.  
  
---  
"Hey Kitty!" Bobby yelled down the steps.  
  
"Is the coast clear?" Kitty said, phaseing up next to her frosty former comrade.  
  
"Yeah, but Ms. Munroes says you have to clean up the foyer." Bobby said, hoping she'd buy it.  
  
"WHAT!" Kitty yelled. Bobby thought about how stupid what he was attempting really was, but too late now. Beside, there was always Canada.  
  
"Because you left me hangin'. I would have to help if you had been a man, er, woman, um, acted responsible." Bobby said matter-of-facty.  
  
"Fine, whatever. Go away before I decide to shoot the messenger."  
  
Bobby wisely jumped out of arms' reach and decided he needed to go to his room right then and there. "Guess Rogue isn't the only one to be influenced by her roommate." Bobby grumped as he half-ran up to his room and his pixie stick stash.  
  
---  
Remy and Rogue had no problem putting the wet pillows and stuff in the washer, and the rugs were drying, but they still had a wet floor on their hands.  
  
"Well, we've done everyt'in' but de floor. It's still wet."  
  
"The shop vac'll suck the water an' the sugah up. Ah'm gonna take the trash out so we don't get bees."  
  
"Bees?"  
  
Rogue looked at him like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Yeah. Bees. They get in the garbage and. . . don't tell me ya've nevah had bee problems."  
  
"Um, no. We have flies sometimes, but not bees."  
  
"You're just sayin' that so Ah won't have an excuse not ta vacuum. Get ovah it."  
  
Remy looked at the closet where the vacuum was kept like it contained a demon. "I _was_ stallin' but I ain't had a problem wit' bees either. Worst t'ing ever was a dog, but it was only in de house f'r three minutes. Funny as hell t' watch everyon try ta catch it. We eventually herded it out the door. Still laugh about it every now and den."  
  
"Ya're really desperate not ta sweep aren't ya?"  
  
Remy smiled sweetly using every once of artifce he had to get out of doing such a deplorable chore. "Yeah."  
  
Rogue stood there and thought about doing it herself; but then remembered her french homework, still sitting undone in the study. "Sorry, but you're gonna have ta sweep yo'self. Ah got french homework ta do."  
  
Remy followed her out into the foyer, and waited until she was on the steps and at eye level to try to convince her to help him one more time.  
  
"I doan wanna do dis by m'self. When I'm done I won't have not'in' to do."  
  
"Ah'm sure that ain't true. Ah mean, a man such as yourself should always have somethin' ta do, an' not rely on one girl such as mahself do' amusment."  
  
Remy smiled sadly, and Rogue had a real problem keeping herself on the steps and not vacuuming the floor her damn self. She shook her head. [Gotta be strong. He's used ta gettin' his way, can't give in.] "Tell ya what. Ah'll do mah homework, then come down an' hang out with ya, okay?"  
  
"Whacha got left t' do? Mebe I could help."  
  
"Ah'm describin' a day in the square, an' I'm almost at mah quota. Just gotta find the french fo' mime an' Ah'll be set."  
  
"See you when y' done."  
  
Rogue smiled to herself. [Thought so. Vacuuming looks like fun now, huh?]  
  
Rogue went up to her room to finish writing about the freakiest french square ever imagined, borrowing freely from Mardi Gras and El Dio de los Muertes. It would freak her French teacher out, and it was fun to be that disturbing on paper.  
  
Remy retreated to the living room, and got the shop vac out. Things went smoothly for him, actually. He got the sugar and water up, and almost had the vacuum back in the closet, thereby getting rid of any evidence that he'd ever used it in his life when Jamie passed holding a startegy guide for Kingdom Hearts. Jamie also had, though she didn't know it, Kitty's digital camera. He saw Remy with the sweeper, and snapped a picture as quick as he could. He then alerted the people in the rec. room that Remy was actually using the vacuum cleaner. They all crowded around, and Jamie ran upstairs to his room, laughing like the evil little kid he is all the way.  
  
(a (n?) hour Later)---   
Kurt sighed. None of the girls but Amara seemed to be home. Why did Amanda's parents have to screen her calls? Amara always made him do favors for her. These always seemed to involve somehow humiliating him. Dammit! Oh well, maybe Rogue or Rahne would be nice and call for him. HE was probably better off starting with Rahne, even if Amanda's parents would be suspicious of the scottish accent.  
  
Bobby was coming out of someone's room. It wasn't his, but Kurt couldn't remember who it belonged too. That's not the first thing he noticed about Bobby though. The fact that he was covered in feathers and had a very hyper look on his face was Kurt's first clue as to what Bobby was doing in someone else's room.  
  
Bobby saw Kurt and smiled wider. Ah, a witness to a masterpiece. He walked over to the wary German and said, in his best deludsionaly hyper voice, "I am the amazing chicken boy."  
***  
I think nothing more need be said.  
REVIEW!  
Peace and Love,  
Panther Nesmith 


	11. The Title is Explained

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
ishandahalf-Yeah, I know how ya feel about updates. My mom works at Wendy's so, ya know, I don't wanna work with my mom (God that would suck). Hmm, we should fix it so it spells out rabid. Acronyms are fun. How's about, Readers After Blood If Disobeyed. Um, maybe not. Yes, Remy' ass shots. Thank you thank you *bows* I would definitly love to see an ep with gratuitous booty shots, and would also replay it in slow mo, again, and agian, andd again, until the tape wore out. Yes, mmmm. Hmm, well that's weird, because my responses to your responses are just random words grouped together with no rhyme or reason, and coherency is avoided at all costs. Yeah, I loved getting Remy all worked over something like that. Wow, I'm stiring up nationalism in someone, and it's a Canadian. Um, I guess I should have some American propaganda here, but I don't feel like it. Just assume it's here, m'kay? Balloons are fun. Especially red balloons. They remind me of that song. Ya know the one. "Now I have one red balloon; I think of you and let it go." It's an eightys song, inspired by a German song abou the end of the world. Gotta love that. Ooh, that'd be like balloon heaven. That would be so awesome. Now I don't feel guilty about all those balloons I've lost over the years. I love Jamie. He and John are fun to write. Yeah, Bobby broke into Jean's stash, and added it to the pixie sticks. Or maybe he just inhaled the pixie sticks. Ya never know. It would explain a lot. I personally think that Ororo's a hippie, and makes 'special' brownies every now and then (everyday) and that's where the insanity comes from. The insane are never alone, but yeah, it's nice to know there are people that other people hear that are crazy like me. Which brings me to my thought of the day. Can one of a schizophrenic's voices hear voices? Wouldn't that just kick butt? That'd be so awesome. Oh, I just thopught of something completely off base. Chillin' like Dylan. I'm gonna use that phrase too, somehow.  
  
Sujakata-Yes chicken boy. I know. Thank you for enjoying my long chapter. Yeah, well, we already know he' s attracted to her, already quite. . .excitable, and well, Rogue was leaning over with her mouth open breathing heavily. What was he supposed to do? Ignore it? This'd be a slash fic then, and I just can't see Remy well, maybe a little, but not with one of the X-men. Yes, closet did make it's appearance, and we should all be supportive of the vacuum. Coming out of the closet was hard for this plucky little appliance. Kitty thinks 'Ro's mad at her. You'd lick a toilet bowl clean if you thought it would get an angry weather goddess off your back. I couldn't rightly call myself a quasi-feminist if Rogue swept for him. (Go Equal Rights!) Yeah, well, it's a pride thing. Remy needs less, Rogue need her's illustrated more. Thus, this fic. Rogue's revenge will be sweet. Jamie is evil. He's a little kid with brown eyes, how could he _not_ be evil? He might keep it as insurance. You'll probably see that pic again. Right after you've forgotten it exists, BAM it's back. The BoM do come in, and there is a little bit of Scott & Jean bashing, but no death. Rogue still needs to extract her revenge on Jean for the who 'Lady Marmalade lyrics' thing. I'll get the firewood! (um, next shrek quote, yeah). I did, Mwahahahahaha.  
  
Rogue-I did. Glad you love it.  
  
  
  
Disclaimer  
  
We hope to someday make people write these thingys saying they don't own something we came up with, becasue it would be ours and none else could make profit off of it.-Marvel, way back in the beginning.  
  
***  
Kurt watched Bobby walk into the men's shower room, and decided he really didn't want to know. He bamfed to Rahne's room, and sucessfully called his girl friend which made him happy.  
  
---  
Rogue was not sharing in her brother's good fortune. She was distracted. The gorilla angel Remy had given her was sitting on her desk, mocking her. Rogue was staring blankly at her french book, completely unable to concentrate on preterite conjugations. She let out a frustrated sigh and decided to take a quick nap. Truth be told, she figured she would just lay on her bed, with everything that had happened in the past few day spinning around in her head like a merry-go-round on amphetamine, but it was closer to a nap than she was currently getting, so it counted.  
  
She turned to look at her bed, and noticed for the first time that her pillows were missing. There was also crystalized sugar on her bedspread. Bobby. She seethed momentarily and stormed off to suffocate Bobby with his own ass.   
  
---  
Remy surveyed his work. Three very frightened boys in the rec. room, a clean living room floor, a placated weather goddess somewhere, and now some time to himself. He flopped on the couch, and put his feet up, making sure he wasn't wearing his shoes anymore, becasue cleaning couch cusions was _not_fun; or at least that's what Rogue had told him. He wouldn't know from personal experience.  
  
Remy thought about what to do while Rogue finished up her homework. He thought about starting an arguement with Scott, but it didn't seem worth getting up for. He thought about going to bug Rogue, but decided that this could be his last mistake if she was having problems with her conjugations. Finally, our really fine Cajun sighed and stood up to turn on the radio. Ah, a soft jazz station. Well, it was better than a top fourty station playing *Nsuck's newest tune, or the old people chanels. Sometimes finding a good radio station is like lightning striking the exact tree you're standing under, only different. It wasn't half bad actually. Kinda reminded him of the obligatory soft shoe scene from an old movie. Remy pondered imitating Fred Astair for a minute, but decided against it.  
  
He then thought of something altogether different, and much more fun than dancing by yourself. Our now scheming protagonist smiled evil to himself, and went to the foyer closet, grabbing the first empty backpack he could find, which happened to belong to Kurt. But this fact has no bearing on this story. He went to the garage and grabbed Logan's keys off the work bench. If he was going to get what he was planning to, he'd need the backpack to put it in. He also decided that he liked white with Red stripes, to pull off the whole Speed Racer deal.  
  
---  
Rogue stalked through the boys' wing. She passed Kurt's room. Door closed, his voice coming from inside. Probably doing homework, talking to Amanda, or both. The more than slightly miffed southerner paused at Bobby's room. Empty. Damn. Rogue kept going, now in earnest pursuit of her pillows. Sha passed Remy's closed door. After a bit of pondering, Rogue decided to go in, after much pondering about whether or not she wanted to see what Remy's room looked like. Decideing that since curiosity didn't kill the cat (it says rat poison on its death certificate), she probably wouldn't be _too_ scarred for life if she looked. No woman has ever been more wrong.   
  
---  
Inside it was a sty. Not what Rogue was expecting, given what she'd seen of his personality. Sure he seemed non-chalant, but he liked things to have _some_ natural order. His room being trashed and covered in. . .underwear? Yes, there were both women's and men's underwear all over the floor. Rogue, who was barefoot (or at least not wearing shoes), jumped back. She assumed the men's were Remy's and really hoped the women's weren't.   
  
Then agian, she sorta hoped they didn't belong to anyone, and had just magically appeared, until she recognized a pair. They were _her_ underwear. This was. . .interresting to say the least. She noticed a piece of paper on the bed. Figuring she'd already snuck in, and might as well do the thing right, she closed the door behind her, and picked her way over to his bed, being careful not to step on underwear she didn't immediatly recognize as hers. This seemed to exclude only the men's underwear. But it was still un-nerving to see anyone's room like this.  
  
The now really freaked out teenager finally picked a path out, and was next to his bed. After deliberating about whether she should sit on the _very_ disheveled bed, she sat on the one corner of blanket still on said piece of furniture, and opened the paper. A note fell out, and she read it first. It said simply, "Jamie and the amazing technicolor dream chicken. Sorry Remy."  
  
Rogue then turned the picture around and began seething again. In the picture, which was tossed on the bed next to the note, was Bobby, covered in feathers and Rogue's pillows, apparently to save himself fromthe fate of the three little monkeys, jumping on Remy's bed.  
  
This explained everything. Rogue would have stalked off to do a good old fashioned lynching, but for the undeniable fact that he underwear were still in a really hot guy's bedroom. So, after collecting her panties and bras, and vowing holy revenge on Bobby, and minorly devout revenge on Jamie, a more than slightly flustered Rogue snuck back to her room, as much as someone holding an armload of underwear can.  
  
---  
Unbeknownst to her, but knownst to us, a very, racy pair of panties got left behind; hidden from Rogue's sight by Remy's bed clothes. This will have an effect on this story, unlike the ownership of the highjacked backpack.  
  
---  
Scott Summers was not usually a vengeful man. Okay, so actually, he was. But not to his teammates. Well, okay, except for Lance. But, that incident aside, exceptions had to be made when someone was flirting with HIS girl. So, Scott was heading into the perpetrator's room with a confiscated can of itching powder and cruel intentions (not the movie).   
  
He looked around. He shook his head. [I figured his room would be a disaster area. How many pairs of dirty underwear does this guy have. No way they all came from one guy. Wonder if I can blackmail him with this? Wait, I'm not in here, I'm watching Mucha Lucha. Right.]  
  
He walked over to the destroyed bed. He needed the covers to hide the itching powder, so he lifted them up, and looked down because he dropped the bottle of skin iritating joke powder (that was a lame name option.). It was on top something black and red. Scott couldn't tell it from the rest of the shadows though, and picked it up along with the itching podwer that Bobby would be looking for later. He looked at the bit of what looked like lace. . .   
  
Scott dropped both the can and bit of fabric and ran out of Remy's room, images running through his head.  
  
After standing in the hallway looking like an idiot for a second or two, curiosity got the best of him. He went back inside, and searched for something to pick up what he'd possitvely identified as women's undergarments (not that he'd seen any like _this_), He located a pen, and hooked the sparse piece of lace to examine it. A small patch of barely there lace in front, and pretty much glorified strings for the rest. It did have a very thin name tag onthe inside of where the two strings met. He has to squint to read it. Once he was able to, he dropped it, again, and ran to tell the proffesor Rogue was definitly doing _something_ she wasn't supposed to be doing.  
  
---  
Remy was trying not to be seen with a Lazarus bag and can of paint in his hands. Some things just didn't explain away easily. This was one of them. He climbed the stairs quietly, hoping no one would notice him. Too bad he'd left the loaner backpack in the foyer cloest.   
  
When he got to the top of the steps he saw an angry, and very red Scott waiting outside his door. Remy was immediatly defensive.   
  
"What'd you want?"  
  
"I know what you're doing, Remy."  
  
Remy thought Scott was crazy. He wasn't doing anything. . .unless Scott had found out about his plan. Remy's hands shifted behind his back, to hide the department store bag, and the incriminating paint. Scott didn't notice, because he was staring Remy down.  
  
"I can't believe you would do this! I mean how, that's a discusion on its own. But why?"  
  
"Um, really bored?" Remy knew Scott had seen teh paint, but he was still holding a department store bag. There was something low about shopping in large stores like that, or at least there was in Remy's opinion.  
  
Scott's jaw dropped [Good Lord! How can he treat Rogue like that?] "I can't believe you would do that. Even you couldn't be that low."  
  
Remy frowned. "It's not really a big deal. I mean I'm not doin' anyt'in' destructive. Jus' havin' a ittle fun."  
  
Scott thought he couldn't be more appalled when Remy told him why he had decided to have sex with Rogue. He was worng. Unable to say anything, he finally noticed that Remy was hiding his hands. Scott dived for whatever the very disturbed (currently, by Scott, not mentally, like Wanda (Power to the psychos!)) Acadian was hiding.  
  
Remy, who wasn't ready for it was barely able to keep Scott from grabbing the paint. What Scott did get was the Lazarus bag. Remy's thing about Lazarus wasn't important anymore, until Scott opened the bag and looked in. Now Remy truely nervous.  
  
"So. Is this for her, or another woman? I hope to God whatever you two did didn't get her pregnant." Scott shoved the bag back at an utterly stumped Remy. "Oh, and when you toss her out to the curb, I'll make your life Hell. Dante's Inferno will seem like Thomas the Tank Engine compared to what I'm going to do to you."  
  
With that Scott left, full of vindication and righteousness. He really did hope Rogue would be okay, but she had sort of brought it on herself. She would be reminded of this, and _then_ he'd be a good friend. Duty before friendship after all. The thing inthe bag came back to mind. [Now what's the point in something like that? I've written reports for books I"ve never read that covered more than that. . .thing.]  
  
---  
Remy was more confused than the time he'd tried to read _The Grapes of Wraith_ for English class, and that'd been in ninth grade. "What de Hell?" [Scott's read Dante? Wonder if de prof. knows? I di'n't think de boy had it in 'im.]  
  
He shook his head and headed into his room. The first thing he noticed was every pair of underwear he owned was on the floor. "Great, one day after wash day, 'n' I already need t' do more." All jokes aside, he was really curious to know who wanted to die. "Summers, I swear if you did dis. . ." Remy noticed the paper on his bed.  
  
After perusing it and decided to re-extract revenge on Bobby, he noticed something he defintly didn't own on the floor.  
  
Remy was trying to remember if he'd done anything to merit the sudden appearance of women's underwear when he understood something. [So, dis is what Scott knows. Shit. Probably Jean's Now dat's disturbing.]  
  
He searched the underwear for the obligatory nametag. It was on the back. Made sense. When he read it, he was _really_ wondering what he'd done to have them in his room.  
  
---  
Rogue was now in her room, pacing. All thought of being calm enough to do her homework was out the window. She let out a frustrated grunt and grabbed _Memnoch the Devil_ her usual pised off mood book.   
  
She went down to the rec. room, for God knows what reason.  
  
---  
Ray and Roberto were at each other's throats. Well, they would have been, but in actuality they were inches away from each other. But, to keep the ratings down, those inches were filled with a Kentucky boy who was tired of hearing them bitch at each other.  
  
"You two wanna fight, go to tha danger room 'n' beat the crap outta each other. I haven't play Vice City yet (um, Logan bought it gfor them, thought it would be educational)." The boys scowled at each other, while Rogue, who hadn't even sat down yet let out another frustrated sigh and stomped out the back door to the quasi-forest like part of the grounds.  
***  
Kinda stops short, but I wanted to update now, so here we are.  
REVIEW!  
Peace and Love,  
Panther Nesmith 


	12. What's a dominatrix?

Hey All!  
  
I'd like to say that any anarchy I'm writing about will in no way be carried out, because I can't do the jail thing. Also I have no idea how to take over a corporation, and run it. Therefore, everything is a joke, and a way of expressing my displeasure with certain elements. I'm not saying I can do better, and anything else I can get in trouble for saying is a joke or a lie, unless lying can get me in trouble too.  
  
Reviews  
  
Ishandahalf-RABID fangirls unite! You work on the theme song, and we'll work together on the handshake at our first meeting. Oooh, wait. our theme song will be '99 Red Balloons'. No one will understand why, and we can use it as a distraction. Woo! It is the best song ever. Yeah, I bet she's got primo drugs up there. The whole african tribe episode thingy was just a bad trip. Hmm, my room is pink. I hate pink. The walls are mocking me! Why must I be surounded by the perpetual female color! I'M VERY AWARE OF THE FACT THAT I'M FEMALE! THANKS FOR POINTING IT OUT EVERYWHERE I FRICKIN' LOOK! ahem, woo. I've had that on my chest for a while. Sorry I vented about my ugly walls on you. I taped a deck of cards onto my ceiling, so my room isn't _too_ girly. I don't know why you needed to know that, but now you do. Be proud of your rise above normal perception. You just have ESP in reverse. you foresaw them painting the walls pink five years ago, and who'll argue with your claim? Yeah, the idea was to freak people out. I don't think Remy would keep his cross dressing things (if he had any) in any obviouse place. They'd be in a super-safe under a non-loose floorboard, under a dresser. The name tag was so nobody gets someone else's undies. It's required or else you can't put them in the institute washing machine (The prof wants to know exactly to fantasize about in them, no matter what reason he says is true. Liar! Perv! (my prof. X is a dirty old man plug. thank you)). I'm glad you liked the threat. You're absoloutly right about your french class. Not like it's real french anyway. It's too americanized, like spaghetti, and chinese food. Boy band dissing should be an allowed college major. I know comedians who make their money dissing boy bands. I enjoyed writing the Scott/Remy convo. *a soda, which matterialised from nowhere and was drunk right before you said the line about the stick is spit on the keyboard.* Oh my God. That was great. You're _so_ in my quote book now. Hmm, a RABID rally in Ontario? As long as it's not a school night my mom shouldn't care. I'll start hitchhiking now. Canadian tv will pay for being behind. oh yes they will. Mwahahahahahahahaha!  
  
Sujakata-Yeah, I know. I have a theory about that actually. I mean she's totally seen as untouchable, mind, body, and soul. I'll bet she wears them when it gets to her, and in her head all day she's going, 'I know you don't know, but I have on really sexy unides.' Um, Scott's just really not fond of anyone who would offer to show Jean a better time than he can. Yeah, well, Jean is female, Remy is Remy, so obviously he would flirt with her for fun and practice. Um, I don't think I'm contatgious *mock innocent looks* Have I bitten you? Yeah, the brave brave vacuum. Oh, of course they're naughty. I have no idea what goes on in Bobby's head. I think he has an ass fetsh he's not telling us about. Um, I may do death, but it'd be in a one shot, and not in the series. I'd do it for you Suj. I kinda wanted to wait on the update until I had more than two reviews, but what the Hell.  
  
Disclaimer  
  
Okay, we'll be taking our first step toward Marvel Universe domination after the rally outside the Ontario station that's fallen behind on X-men Evolution. But, until I get my driver's liscence, a car, and enough gas money, they're all Marvel's.  
  
***  
Remy was kinda freaking out. Had he and Rogue done something, and now HE COULDN'T REMEMBER IT? How could he have had sex with her? Was he drunk? Is that why he couldn't remember what had happened? And this was Rogue. She would have to have been high, drunk, or possessed. Now he was just getting stupid, and needed to calm down and hope the story would be better than what he was thinking. It was not a good position for our very weirded out protagonist.  
  
He thought about where Rogue might be. He still had the bit of lace and elastic in his hands. Looking at it one last time, and trying _very_ hard to picture Rogue in it, he put it in his pocket and made his way to the girl's wing, as quickly as he could without lookng desperate. After a minute of half running he decided to screw it and ran full out for Kitty and Rogue's room.  
  
---  
Kitty was sitting on her bed with her laptop, frowning at the screen. She was chewing her lip and didn't even bother to look up when Remy came in, a little winded.  
  
"I don't know why you're running. Rogue's, like, not here. She stormed out after staring at her french book a few seconds after I came in. Probably in the rec. room. She was muttering something about the idiot trio, and comfy chairs, so you can see why I think she went there."  
  
Remy marveled at Kitty's excelent detection skills.  
  
"How you *gasp* know it was me?" [Gotta cut down on de cigarettes]  
  
"C'mon, Rogue glares at her french book, calls someone the biggest retard in the world, vows holy revenge and then goes to read Memnoch? You better apologize before she remembers the knives were recently sharpened."  
  
Remy laughed a little nervously and backed out. Kitty sighed at her laptop and looked at it appraisingly. [Okay, do I want my next update to have the old format in pink, or the new format in that really cool red?]  
  
---  
"Hi Scott!" Jean waved at her boyfriend, who was wandering around looking slightly lost. He'd though _way_ too long about the possible results of Rogue and Remy having sex, and was a little dazed. It took Jean a minute of waving her hand in front of his face to get him to focus his eyes. He saw that they'd gotten back from shopping. Jean was holding a bag from Lazarus like Remy's. Scott shuddered, but enjoyed the imagery this thought generated for the first time that day. Unless the thing in Remy's bag was for Jean. Scott couldn't be suspisious until he had a reason. Rogue would probably castrate anyone who broke up with her anyway.  
  
"Sorry Jean, I just saw something. . . Um, Tabitha, Jubilee, can Jean and I be alone?"  
  
There was much giggling between the two, but they proceeded to Kitty's room, where they would show of their mall purchases tot he harried computer genius, who couldn't decide between pink or red.  
  
After they were gone Jean went into 'Supportive Team Number-Two' mode. "Whats wrong Scott? You look like you just saw Logan actually cleaning instead of dumping all the work on us for a change."  
  
"Nothing so good Jean. I can't tell you, actually. It's too. . .disturbing."  
  
Jean frowned. "Scott, I've eaten 'disturbing' everytime Kitty cooks. I've read 'disturbing' everytime I take one of Rogue's book suggestions. I've heard 'disturbing' from Remy at every occasion he could come up with. I'm used to disturbing. What's up?"  
  
Scott tried to verbaly tell Jean what he'd seen. What he got out was, "Remy. . . Rogue. . .feathers. . .bag." the rest was incoherent mumbles, and a few non-sense words.  
  
Scott shook his head. he could not make the words come out. Jean sighed and after a bit of looking found the source of Scott's distress. She was only doing it as a good girlfriend. She needed to understand his problem to help him with it. That much was on purpose. Telling Kitty, Tabitha, and Amara telepathically rigth after finding out was an accident, and she would stick to that story untill the day she died.  
  
"Oh God. We have to tell the professor. She couldn't. . . could she?"  
  
"I dont know. With Remy. . .I don't know."  
  
Scot blushed bright red at the newest imagery, and sighed. "Jean, I definitly can't tell the professor. I couldn't even tell you, and you're not. . ."  
  
"Yeah. I know. We'll go together. . . what are you three doing?"  
  
Kitty, Amara, and Tabitha had all gone to where Scott and Jean were standing, using the couple radar all gossipy women and middle school boys possess.  
  
"You can't tell the professor." Amara said, pulling Kitty an Tabitha into a sort of human wall between Jean and Scott and anythought of telling the professor anything, unless it was through telepathy.  
  
"Yeah, I mean, if Rogue's opening up to Remy, don't you, like, think he'd be better for her that three Logan sessions a day for the rest of her life?" Kitty asked, happy with how nicely her plan had worked out. She nudged Amara, and pointed to Tabitha, who was looking thoughtful.  
  
"But if Rogue's. . . you know, then the professor needs to know. What if he gives her some weird STD? Or she gets pregnate?"  
  
"Uh, guy, girls, how would those two do the deed?" Amara inquired, before nudging Tabitha a little harder.  
  
"It could have been a sex alternative." was what Tabitha had to add to the conversation. Everyone in the hall got quiet, while they digested this. Kitty put it succinctly.  
  
"Eww. Thanks for the mental picture Tabby. Anyway, since Rogue was out for his blood earlier, and Bobby _is_ on a pranking spree, I think this is just a big misunderstanding, and no reason to get the professor involved. I mean we shouldn't narc on them for doing something they didn't."  
  
Jean noddd, knowing the humiliation of this sort of misunderstanding would probably drive Rogue over the edge. Scott just nodded, trying not to look like he felt whipped.  
  
( AN: we all know Jean has him totally snowballed.)  
  
Kitty and Amara left to talk to Jubilee and Rahne, while Tabitha went to tell everything she'd heard, with a couple of minor alterations, to the boys downstairs.  
  
---  
Bobby went into the rec. room to tell what he'd just heard to the other boys. Nobody was fighting by that time. Rogue had threatened to beat Ray up with Roberto's gonads, and strangle Sam if anyone bothered her. They were peacefully sniping at each other in non-verbal ways, like glares. Bobby laughed at the scene, untill he got over to the three boys. He started to tell them what was going on, but before he could get out more than "I know something you don't kow." Rogue had gotten up and smacked Bobby upside the head with her book on the way to the backyard. Bobby rubbed his head and then turned around, smiling.  
  
"Okay, so anyway, Scott is looking for something to do. Jean's off shopping, and he's feeling lonely. He passes Remy's room, and hear something going on inside. Well, maybe I shouldn't be telling you guys this."  
  
Roberto smacked Bobby upside the head. "Spill, Drake."  
  
Ray joined his former foe in the new recruits' favorite passtime beside 'Leave Jamie out of Stuff.' I'm of course talking about "Harrass Bobby until He Tells us what He Knows.'  
  
"Okay, so he opens the door, being Scott Summers, deputy hall monitor, training under the Enforcer. He sees. . ."  
  
At that minute the rec. room filled with girls. They didn't come all at once, but one at a time. But it was done quickly, like they'd all just hear something they couldn't wait to tell everyone.  
  
Remy burst into the crowded rec. room. He went to the middle of the room, and stood on the coffee table. "'Scuse me. I'm lookin' f'r Rogue. Anyone know where she is?"  
  
There was laughing and Bobby got up on the table next to him. He looked at the perturbed Cajun and laughed. "I don't blame you for looking for her. If I were that close to someone, especially someone as beautiful as Rogue, I'd wanna know where they are at all time too."  
  
Remy sighed. He figured Scott would take longer than this to tell someone. [Great. Now I'm gonna have Rogue thinkin' I started dis whole damned thing. Oh well. If she thinks that, mebe it's better she told me no.]  
  
"Mebe we're not on de same page. I wanna know where Rogue is, wit'out any ridicule, or else I tell Logan what happened to his motorcycle last week."  
  
Ray stepped forward, and speaking quickly, before Remy gave out anymore information said, "She went to the backyard."  
  
Remy said thank you over his shoulder as he made his way tot he kitchen doors.   
Everyone looked at Ray.  
  
"What? It was an accident, I swear!"  
  
Jamie spoke up, and said, in the classic little kid voice, "Awww! Somebody's in trouble!"  
  
---  
Rogue was sitting in the first tree she'd gotten too once she'd gotten out of hearing range of all the noises that distracted her from being pissed. She was reading Memnoch, and fuming while plotting.  
  
Remy picked up on this much while looking up at the soles of her boots. He took a deep breath, and yelled her name, just loud enough to bring her out of an Anne Rice and anger induced trance.   
  
Rogue let out a surprised noise, and promtly fell out of the tree. Remy went to help her up, but Rogue just glared at his hand when he offered it.  
  
"Ah swear ta God if ya evah do that again, Ah'll drown you in battery acid."  
  
"Sorry chere. I di'n't mean t' scare you." Remy didn't pull back his hand, and Rogue stopped glaring at it. [Mebe she's not mad at me. Mebe she's mad at herself. WHAT THE HELL DID WE DO?!]  
  
"Don't call me that." Rogue snapped, getting up on her own and brushing bark off of her skirt. "Ah'm fine, thanks fo' askin'."  
  
The now very ticked off southern girl glared at Remy for good measure. No one knocked her out of a tree and got away with out a good glare. But, since he _had_ interrupted her complete obsesion with creativley killing Bobby he would get off with the mother-of-all glares, and no physical harm.  
  
Remy's stomache stopped working when Rogue glared at him like he'd commmited some heinous crime, didn't deserve to live, and wasn't good enough to kill. He hoped that whatever they'd done was worth uncertain death.  
  
Rogue stood tapping her foot, waiting for gravity's little helper to tell her why he'd tracked her down whe she'd made it clear she wanted to be alone.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Um, I jus' wanted to. . .hear 'bout y' day yesterday."  
  
Remy felt lame, but his mind hadn't fully wrapped itself around the fact that he'd found underwear belonging to the only girl to turn him down in recent memory in his room. Thusly, he couldn't think of a better lie. In fact, this was the truth, with certain parts ommited. The real truth being 'I wanted to know if we did anything not rated PG last night; becasue I can remember Thursday night just fine.'  
  
(AN: the reason he couldn't remember the previous night was the utter boringness that crept in after being yelled at by Ororo. Just FYI)  
  
Rogue looked at him like he'd lost any pretend at sanity. "Did ya just go out an' drink away ya last brain cell?"  
  
"Jes' tell me please."  
  
Rogue was taken aback by his tone. [Is that desperation Ah hear? Comin' from God's gift ta women? Hmm, Hell musta frozen over. Damn, now Ah've gotta go out with Magneto, become team leadah fo' a while, an' call everyone 'sugah'.]  
  
"Okay. . .Ah woke up an' brushed mah. . ."  
  
Remy put his hand up, and said, "Skip a bit."  
  
"Ah went ta school, an' hung out. . ."  
  
"Bit more."  
  
"Ah had a detention."  
  
"Really? What for? Wait, nevermind. Skip a bit."  
  
Rogue was getting tired of this. She decided to go straight for the end of the day. Her tone gave a way her frustration. "Risty didn't meet me ta go to the mall."  
  
Remy noticed Rogue's annoyance, but didn't think she was angry anymore. It was hard to read her sometimes. "Okay, excruciating detail, after you skip a bit."  
  
"Ah walked twenty feet from the garage to the front door. Ah put mah key in the lock, an' turned it. Ah stepped into the foyah, an' took thirteen steps to the closet, where Ah hung up mah coat, which Ah needed because it was still too cold to go outside with out a jacket.  
  
"Ah decided to ask you if ya wanted to got to the mall, so Ah climbed the twenty-seven stairs to yo' room, where Ms. Munroe, who is the tall, white haired, weather controlling house hall monitor, was yellin' at cha fo' smokin' in the bathroom, an' leavin' ashes in her nice clean sinks. Logan was actually sp'osed ta clean them, but he took off like he always does when it's his turn ta clean. . ."  
  
"Thanks. All I need to know." [Okay, I'm sure there's a perfectly good, if, hopefully, not innocent reason her underwear were in my room. prob'ly shouldn't ask though. She'll think that I thought we had sex, an' then she'd find some slow, creative way to kill me.]  
  
"Ya been up to yo' room?" Rogue asked, suddenly nervouse about why he would want to hear about what she'd done the night before.  
  
"Mmm hm." Remy nodded, remembering the unholy mess, and bitch out session Scott had given him.  
  
Rogue was now very anxious. Had she gotten everything? "It looked like Bobby dumped both our underwear drawers out while jumpin' on ya bed like a loon. Ah went in ta get mah pillows. Ah'm burnin' the one he duct taped to his butt."  
  
[Ah. Damn] Remy frowned, partly because Bobby's latest prank pissed him off, mostly because he had really hoped to remember something juicier about the previous night than 'Got yelled at, went to the roof to smoke, and then went to bed.'  
  
"Yeah, that really sucks. We should defintly get him back." Remy said, channeling his unhappyness to a very deserving medium. Revenge.  
  
Rogue smiled at her very unhappy partner in retribution. "Now you're thinkin' normally. Ah was just tryin' ta figure out what suitable revenge would be. This can't be grouped with everythin' else. Ah'll wind up killin' the lil ice-maker."  
  
Remy had to smile at what Rogue had said. He also had to wonder why he always got the crazy women. This was not important now. He needed Rogue to focus on being insanely evil. Get those (ALERT! reference to the first story) evil genes out. The girl was actually in a perfect position to be evil. Kinda the one thing, beside gothness, she had in common with her sister. Of course if he told Rogue so, Rogue would probably kill him, in a very slow and painful way, involving mutilation, and humiliation. Now his thoughts were way off track. [Focus, 'nough 'bout Magsy an' his spawn. . . 'sides Rogue, o' course.]  
  
"Ah wondah. . ."  
  
The two of them continued plotting.  
  
---  
After Remy left the rec. room the gossip _really_ started.   
  
"Oh my God. You boys will never guess what I just heard! I have a very reliable source too. Rogue and Remy were having sex! In his room! and now there are feathers and bits of clothes all over everything!" Jubilee shouted before the boys could get a word out.  
  
"I heard it wasn't just them. I heard that Scott joined in when he caught them." Bobby shouted across the room, while the three very out of the loop boys listened in awe.  
  
"I heard Rogue was being a dominatrix, and had whips and everything."  
  
"What's a dominatrix?" Jamie asked from the back of the room, where he was being protected from Ray by Tabitha and Kitty. Kitty shrugged her shoulders.  
  
"I heard that she tied Scott to Remy and well. . . I can't say what she did after that."  
  
(AN: it would drive the rating up. Use your imagination.)  
  
"I heard it was just them participating, but that they were so loud Dr. McCoy was the one to catch them and other people were watching."  
  
"I heard she's going to have his baby and they've run off to elope and move to Canda and. . ."  
  
"Dude, Jamie, that rumor sucks."  
  
Jamie pouted at Ray, who was thinking about buring out his tounge for sounding like a surfer.   
  
"Well it's just as likely as what you guys are saying."  
  
There was silence, before the buzz and exchange of rumors contiuned. It was so loud, that Kurt left his room, and actually hung up on Amanda to check out the noise.  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"Kurt, your sister's freaking Remy."  
  
"What! No way!" Or at least they hoped that was what his sudden burst of German translated into.  
  
"Yeah. I heard it from Tabitha, who heard it from Jean, who got the info out of Scott, who saw it. And joined in. I'll bet Rogue was having fun." Roberto said, just to get on Kurt's nerves. What could only be swearing in German was all that the room needed to hear.  
  
"I heard Rogue has athlete's foot!" Amara shouted at the top of her lungs.  
  
Everyone stopped to look oddly at Amara. She shrugged. "I didn't say it was relevant. I just said I heard it."  
  
Jamie took advantage of the quiet to ask his question again.   
  
"What's a dominatrix!"  
  
Kurt looked at Jamie. "Ask Dr. McCoy."  
  
Jamie pouted again and left.  
***  
Whatcha think? Hope ya liked it. More Remy torture and most importantly, more revenge to be extracted. Ooh, I'm evil. "Twelve pounds of evil in a ten pound bag." (Twenty cool points to the one who correctly guesses that quote's origin.)  
On another note: I hope that I didn't seem inattentive to some of my regular reviewers. Or whatever has made you stop commmenting, or reading all together. (AN: I guess if you're not readingthis you won't tell me what I did wrong, but . . .ya know) If we shadows have offended. . .Robin shall restore amends. Please review even if you're just telling me you really have nothing to say, or are mad at me for whatever reason.  
REVIEW, please.  
Peace and Love,  
Panther Nesmith 


	13. statuatory rape?

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
Lady Aurra-Thanks for the comment! I guess you'll have to wait. Maybe it never gets clarified. I know most of what she's gonna do, but that is another story. The next one to be exact. Ah, Cows with Guns is the best song. I can see my little brothers singing that. Thanks for the reminder to update, and I will update quickly as I can.  
  
ishandaahalf-Yeah. It's gotta be the German. Hmm. Yes. Reading that I felt an evil laugh coming on. Shall we? Mwahahahahaha! Wow, that's great. 'Hi honey, how was Germany? Oh, I repainted the rooms, hope you don't mind. It's a blue with a red trim I just love!' That would be great. Yes, DOWN WITH BOY BANDS! *Shudder* Never say that sentence again. I'm all for drifting. Not all wanderers are lost ya know. Yeah, feels good to know the incredibly suave forget things too, huh? Santa's Little Helper was my inspiration for that one. Oh, the part were Jamie asks Hank is crucial to the story. Hmm, well keep a soda on hand next time. I spilt Canada rong? How'd I do that? It was totally on purpose of course. I am perfect after all. The needyness makes me feel maternal, so don't feel bad. Okay the password is. . . *looks at spies listening at the door.* When Bart was playing scrabble with Homer he put a word together that started with 'Q'. If you know this word send it in your review, and it'll be the password. Morals and values? What are these morals and values? I have never heard these words before in my life. Hmm, must ponder them. . .later.  
  
O-I love raunch. It's the only salad dressing I eat! I also enjoy vulgarity, and euphemisms. Oh, there will be bad things happenng, but in the next fic. Oh, Goddess, you're right. Gah!! I've written quasi-slash! *sobbing* How could I? *continued sobbing* I feel so ashamed. *sniffle* I love Remy/Rogueness. It's kinda my coffee. I can't go a day with out at least a little bit. Come on, what was he supposed to think, 'Hmm, I have underwear belonging to a girl I am flirting intensly with. We must have talked about books and music last night.' C'mon. You know you'd do the same thing if you were in Remy's place. (I'm really very evil to him. I guess you terrorize the ones you obses over.) Danke, Merci, and Gracias. Oh, btw, Why didn't you review before, hmmm? I'm gonna make that mandatory to read the next part somehow. You can't read chapter 12 untill you've reviewed 11. *pause* Nah. Just give me heads up every now and then, comprende?  
  
Disclaimer  
  
I don't own crap.  
  
***  
"Okay, so dis'll be de day of the party?"  
  
"Yeah, if Ah do it now, Ah may kill him."  
  
"Yeah, an' killin' a man with poultry is not gonna get y' respect in prison."  
  
"Mm hmm. Okay, it's about dinner time, so what do we do? Hank's cookin' today, an' he's not half bad. We're done plottin' our insidious revenge, an' Ah'm hungry."  
  
"What's he makin'?"  
  
Rogue frowned at him a litle bit. "What am Ah, the freakin' Maitre D'?" After a derisive snort from her companion, Rogue smiled a little and said, "Ah saw him layin' out porkchops last night, so Ah bet that's it."  
  
"Not too bad. Not anyt'in' to get excited 'bout though." Remy said, after thinking a bit. Rogue nodded.  
  
"Yeah. Ah was thinkin' maybe we could grab somethin' t eat togethah. Ah mean, neither of us is crazy about pork products, an' Ah don't wanna hear Kitty whine about how gross meat, especially pork, is, an' would we eat meat if we'd-a had to kill the pig ourselves."  
  
"Agreed. I know de perfect place too."  
  
---  
"Okay, so, beside the athlete's foot, whatever they did they made a lot of noise. If we just have someone eavesdropping on them at all times, they can't get it on without that person knowing, and we'll have something to blackmail them with. And if it's Bobby, something to sell on E-bay." Roberto said, while rubbing his hands together in a wanna be insidious way.  
  
From the other side of the room Tabitha spoke up. "Uh uh, Rogue's not legal, it's considered child porn. Wait. If she's not legal, and Remy's 21. . ."  
  
"Oh, wow, that's. . .not good." Kitty commented from her place on the armchair.  
  
"Um, I hate to point this out. Okay, actually I don't. How would they fornicate? Last time I checked Rogue still can't touch, and isn't exacty going to get in bed with Remy anytime soon, no matter how much he flirts with her." Kurt said, still trying to protect his sister's honor.  
  
"There are alternatives, and Rogue would probably agree to a little bit of. . .playing." Tabitha said, loving the chaos this conversation was causing.  
  
Most people stopped to think about it, or try not to. There was a group shudder.   
  
Finally someone spoke up. "Uh, that eavesdropping everytime they're alone thing, does it apply now?"  
  
"Duh, Ray. What good would it do if we didn't stop them everytime?"  
  
"They're alone outside now." Ray said, shuddering again.  
  
Everyone ran for the backyard.   
---  
This is actually not the truth. They were alone in the foyer. Rogue was searching for her money, which had been in her coat pocket that morning. Remy was listening to them swapping rumors. He'd only heard from "That's. . .not good."  
  
"Rogue, I t'ink we should get goin'."  
  
Rogue pulled ehr head out of the foyer closet. "Why?"  
  
"De restaurant closes soon."  
  
Rogue sighed and closed the closet door. "So yo' payin'?"  
  
"Yeah. Guess you're goin' out with me after all."  
  
"You can call it whatevah ya want. Ah'm not a material girl."  
  
"You t'ink y' can save face by sayin' dat?"  
  
"Ain't your restaurant gonna close soon?" With that, the game was declared over.  
  
Remy watched her go out to the garage. He congratulated himself. Rogue hadn't insisted on paying her own way, like all the other times they'd gone out to eat. [hmm, Slow and steady does win de race. I'm gettin' somet'in' better than braggin rghts though.]  
  
---  
Scott looked up. He heard what sounded like his car starting up. Since he was making sure they didn't try to get to the garage, and hijack an escape vehicle, he ran around to the front of the institute, where Rogue and Remy were already halfway down the driveway. Rogue was sitting in the shotgun seat, putting on her seatbelt, and unbeknownst to Scott, praying silently that Remy remembered the brake pedal before they hit any major streets.  
  
"Damn."  
  
---  
Rogue had a death grip on the arm rest. Remy didn't pay attention to that though. He was too busy trying to get out the gates before Scott remembered there were other vehicles to track them down in. She didn't relax until Remy had slowed down.  
  
"Crap. Ah mean, damn." Remy waited for it. "What in the Hell made you do somethin' like that? How forkin' sucidal are you?" (AN: I had to censor Rogue. I don't use words like what she said, and I have no qualms about saying anything else)   
  
"I'm not suicidal. Jus' in a hurry. Doan have time t' explain why I'm leavin' to Scott." [I can' let you hear what de're talkin' 'bout 'til y' in a better mood. I'm a little masochistic, not completely sucidal.] (AN: Admit it, he is.)  
  
Rogue looked at him oddly, but sat back without saying anything else. [The food at this place bettah be good.]  
***  
Uh, you know the drill.  
REVIEW, please.  
Peace and Love,  
Panther Nesmith 


	14. Not quite breakfast at Tiffany's

Hey All!  
  
I have made a decision. Instead of making this Saturday, and the next Friday the same story, they will be seperate. That way I can take a breather before diving back in, and keep chapter numbers low. This is one mother of a fic. The next one is two parts song fic, one part BoM stuff, and one part fangirlness coming out. I know you guys will appreciate what this mix can do.  
  
Reviews  
  
Sujakata-Thank you, I try my best, just for you. C'mon, aside from a few they're only allowed to be overly angsty and stuck in love triangles. This is not their usual fare of 'Jean's dangling Scott and Duncan, oh wait, now she's with Scott! Now Duncan! Now Scott!' It's fresh, and it's Rogue, Madmoiselle Untouchable (in all ways), and the ragin' Cajun. (gah! I hate that phrase! It burns!) The spying is illustrating the point that everyone is a voyer, just like everyone is a little bit of a masochist. I'm givin' ya the restaurant scene now, beb. Fresh and tasty, just for you!  
  
Miranda-Merci. Yeah. I know all about over-protective catholic olde siblings; being one and all (my poor, poor brothers). More will be comin' your way chica.  
  
J.Dax-I'm glad you think my story is of such high quality. I will update soon, and just for you, my loving reviewers, who shower me with praise, even if it is in short note form. *glowing smile* thank you for reviewing.  
  
ishandaahalf-Correct. The spys didn't see it, so we're okay. I've only ever heard the word, so that is not a flaw in my perfection. Gah! They've become Kids WB only slower! Ag! Thank God I'm not Canadian. *Evil glares come my way* I mean, I don't have to watch Canadian tv, not yeah, I'll shut up now.   
Psych. Venting is good. It's not dirty, unless you're thinking some poultry std. Yeah, he's wearin' her down alright. You just wait until what has now been elected the next fic and not chapter twenty through fourty. Well, yeah the X-men are wierd. Would we watch them if they were normal? They're bored, and it _is_ Rogue, Queen of the Misanthropes and Remy, Lord of All Things Female. There's gonna be talk. If someone found Jean's undies in Scott's room there would be talk as well. I think they're all very starved for action. (Especially Scott and Jean) I ran out of euphemisms. Fornicate is dirtier than the curse words for it, but I don't know why. I thought Kurt wouldn't know slang, being German and all, so he's limited to 'sex' and 'fornicate'.   
  
Starlight-Ah! So you don't hate me. Welcome back to my awareness! *a hug is given out, followed by a cookie. Pick your favorite kind.* I can understand about not reviewing because of lack of something to say. It's okay, but only because it's you. Thaank you for sticking with me! *another hug is distributed, for the halibut.* I love my reviewers, even the sporadic ones. You guys are the only people who shower me with praise for my writing beside my best friend. It's nice to get anonymous praise.  
  
Disclaimer  
  
I don't own anything! I have a mortgage on my welfare check!  
  
***  
It took a while to drive to the place Remy was so determined to get to. On the way Rogue saw a sign that said 'Bayville citty limits', and another that said, 'Hamilton welcomes you'. She once again declined comment, knowing that whatever the reason for leaving Bayville, she would probably regret asking.  
  
They walked into a smallish restaurant called Kathy's Corner. The ambiance was one of a quiet, cheap restaurant. There were two high school girls, both with dark brown hair and glasses, and bothe laughing their arses off, a middle schooler who couldn't see over the rim of his plate, and desperately needed a phone book to sit on, and a college boy with a coke and the sports section of a newspaper sitting in the restaurant. There were two adults, but they were in the corner by the window, and not speaking to one another. Remy could tell they had fought, and he hoped their bad vibes would be negated by the cheerful energy and comradory of the two high school girls chatting away behind the table he'd picked. It was in the opposite corner from the door, and looked out the large window, and was as far away from the fueding couple as he could get it.  
  
Remy put his coat on the back of a chair, and turned to help Rogue whith her chair. She was already sitting, and pretending to hide a smile of satisfaction. The college boy rustled his newspaper and drank his Coke.  
  
Another boy, about the same age as the college guy, with spiky blond hair, and an apron over his a Xavier T-shirt (local college, not Prof. X) came out of the kitchen with a notepad. He stopped at the table belonging to the high school girls (to comment on how 'cute' they were together), before taking Rogue and Remy's drink orders. The two girls were talking about books. Anne Rice and Laurel K. Hamilton to be exact.  
  
"I don't know how vampires kill. I mean, they used to be human, so human sized stomaches. No way a vampire could hold more than two pints of blood." The shorter of the two said, while biting into her grilled cheese.  
  
Rogue nodded while the taller one said, "Yeah, well maybe it's the shock. I mean one minute you're talkin' to someone, and them BOOM! they're drinking your blood. Probably a heart attack."  
  
The spiky haired boy got a devilish look in his eyes. "Yeah, no way they could do that. I mean, how stupid would you have to be? I can't drink more than two pints of blood before _I_ get sick."  
  
The two girls laughed again, and the middle school boy who could barely see over the rim of his plate snorted into his blt. Rogue grinned a little, and Remy really hoped the topic would switch before he got his chili.  
  
The topic did change, and the two girls settled down while Remy and Rogue ate. One of the two adults left, and the remaining one looked at the bill. The remaining adult sighed and picked up the bill muttering about how, 'Chris is always making _me_ pay'.  
  
The college boy finished his coke, and put down his sports section. He started to stretch every one of his vertabre carefully, taking as much time as he coul, until the spiky haired waiter came out and smacked him with a spatula, telling him to get to work.  
  
The middle schooler went to the counter to pay, when a loud crash, and two even louder explitives, ran through the diner. The two high school girls looked up and laughed (AN: big surprise). Remy laughed too, while pulling on his coat. Rogue had hers on, and was trying to look into the kitchen without looking like she was looking into the kitchen, when Remy got in line behind the middle schooler to pay for dinner.  
  
The owner of the restaurant, Kathy herself, went up to the counter and rang up the boy, while joking about the line, and killing Mike and Alan. The high school girls stopped laughing then, and began talking excitedly. One of them, the taller one, asked the shorter one if she had worked on her story anymore.   
  
Remy paid, and while Rogue tried very hard to put this weird (in a completely new and usual way) meal out of her mind. They turned and left the diner, while the last two customers laughed again.  
  
---  
Dr. McCoy sniffed critically when he walked into his lab. The smell was still there. Bobby didn't have to be so destructive when he ran through the lab while being chased by a quasi-blue harpy. The Bengay had dried with in seconds of being stomped out of its tube by Rogue and Kitty, and after getting a gas mask the smell had set. He'd gotten most of it before he started cooking. The coking had helped him. It was soothing to know he could poison Bobby easily if the urge struck him. Not that he would do anything but joke about it, but the fact remained.  
  
Jamie looked into the lab and wrinkled his nose at the smell. [Wow, I wonder what he was doin' in here?] "Dr. McCoy?"  
  
Hank looked over at the intruder. "Yes Jamie?" [Is this about his homework? Honestly, assign someone a simple five paragraph essay and they act like it's the spanish inquisition.]  
  
Jamie shifted uncomfortably. "I just wanna know what a word means."  
  
Hank put down the rag he'd rinsed out, because Jamie usually didn't ask him things liek this. [Perhaps afraid I'll give him a technical explanaiton.] "Okay, what's the word?"  
  
Jamie looked around, for Ororo. He knew the word was something dirty, but he didn't know what. He really hoped it didn't mean anything like ho. Rogue was never meaner to him than she was to everyone else. She was annoyed by him for the living thing he was, not because he was younger.  
  
"Dominatrix."  
  
Hank nodded his head, bringing out his proffesional side to avoid staring at Jamie. [I've never heard someone so young say that. Where in the. . .Jubilee.]  
  
"Who said it?"  
  
"Jubilee." [Oh jeeze. He's not gonna tell me, and I just got Jubilee in trouble.]  
  
"Hmm, would you please tell her to come down here?" [I wonder how I knew.]  
  
"I don't want to get her in trouble." Jamie said, pleading with Hank not to yell at Jubilee. "She was talkin' about Rogue." [D'oh!]  
  
Hank looked at the frustrated boy and laughed inwardly. "Ah, so this was the rumor mill's doing. Why don't you tell me everything. There manot be any reason to get upset at all."  
  
Jamie shook his head and tried to stop his mouth, but alas, little boys have big tongues they can not control (AN: Dirty). Soon he had told the whole story to a very grave looking Henry. ". . .But not everyone thinks Scott really saw that. I don't and Kitty and Kurt don't either."  
  
[Oh dear. Seems Rogue has found herself in the middle of a gossip chain. We saw it coming. Hopefully it blows over before blood is shed, or our vacation begins.] "And you say Scott is the one who started it?" [Will wonders never cease? Rogue teams up with Remy, Scott and Jean decide to go out, and now Scott becomes gossipy. The end of the world will be soon.]  
  
"I should probably talk to them when they get home. Ororo will make me into a rug if she finds out I didn't at least do that. I will not be telling my fellow teachers. . .yet. You should try to get the others to calm down."  
  
Jamie noded and ran out the door. He stopped int he hall, smacked his forehead and ran back in. "You never told me what dominatrix means."  
  
Hank looked at Jamie, as if testing him for maturity. "I can't explain it to someone as young as you. I'm sorry. There are dictionaries in most of the rooms though."  
  
Jamie pouted and stalked out of the med lab. Hank shook his head and wonder why this sort of thing didn't happen to Logan. [Ah yes, he doesn't deign to stay if we might actually need him to do something beside disecting Sabretooth.]  
  
---  
Kitty was mad. Bobby was standing in front of her, demanding his money already!  
  
"There's no way the rumors are, like, true. They couldn't do it. Remy wouldn't live to see today, even if Rogue could touch."  
  
Bobby pouted, knowing full well he'd lost, but hoping fort some kind of miracle. Just then Rogue and Remy walked through the door. They were talking about something or other, and Rogue laughed at what he said. They went to the closet, and Remy helped Rogue out of her coat before taking his coat off. Rogue similed at him, and they went inthe direction of the living room. Kitty looked downa t the floor.  
  
"I'll, like, pay you when I get the money."  
  
---  
The living room doorway was congested with teenagers and pre-teens talking excitedly about something. Rogue thought she heard her name, but since it was also an adjective, it could have been nothing to do with her.  
  
Dr. McCoy was next to the maddening crowd, chillin' like Dylan (yeah! I worked it in!). When he saw Rogue and Remy, he mentally braced himself for what was to come. [I can handle this. They have to know what the others are saying. Just a routine, 'I hope this isn't true; if it is don't let me catch you again, and please use condoms.' Oh dear.]  
***  
Well, things can only go down hill (for Rogue and Remy) from here. Tell me how downhill it should be in the last, or second to last chapter. Um, sorry this is so short. Didn't realize the lack of substance untill now. Ah well.   
REVIEW, please.  
Peace and Love,  
Panther Nesmith 


	15. Just a day, just an ordinary day

Hey All!  
  
Reviews  
  
ishandahalf-Ack! No! I'm so misunderstood! Yes, uppercase is so superior for those stronger emotions. Hmm. Do you welcome them as a citizen of Hamilton? No, you never mentioned it. It's the county I live in. I'm the taller of the two laughing girls (my proofreader, the awesome Carly is the shorter one). Wow, I'm the coolest person ever. I feel loved. I just put it in to placate my self-insertness, and point out two things; that vampires do not kill from blood loss (!!!) and that there is a world beyond the institiute, and they don't always immediatly scream 'Mutant!' when ever an X-man walks into a restaurant. Rogue's gonna give someone Hell for this, that's all I can say. I'm glad you've fulfilled yourself because of me. Thank you, and I will keep it up.  
  
Sujakata-*hugs back* Yes, I feel very close to those freaky restaurant people. I kinda described my lunch with my friend on the first day of exams. (ag! I've self-inserted!) Rogue is gonna freak, of course. Bobby may want to skip town for the rest of his life. I haven't forgotten his just deserts. Don't worry, at least you don't have an evil Sinister wanna be side. * head is bowed in shame* Dude has the stupidest name in all of comic book history, and I chose to emulate him. *Looking up, with a slightly crazed smile.* But I could be an evil genius if I gave a damn. (don't feel bad, I did my make-up like Frank N. Furter everyday for a week. I even had a boa. I wore it to school.) Yeah, well, Peter Pan may be a pansy, but he'll still be a kid when we're all buying denture glue, so he's cool in my book. Will do Suj.  
  
Rogue-It will be different. I believe both Remy and Hank survive it. I can't quite remember. Beside, if I kill them off, they'll only be Marvel dead. *An insidious laugh* Oh, I do love how Marvel gives us the opportunity to do horrendous things to a character, a slow and painful death, and then it was just the character's clone, or they survived having their organs ripped out by tenacity alone. God bless Marvel.  
  
J.Dax- Yeah. I can't really have one of the teachers die though. He may get shot in the foot though. Poor, poor Hank. I think Bobby will die first, but probably because he seems like the type to stick a penny in the wall outlet to see what it feels like. Hmm. maybe I should write the untimely ends of all the X-men, and make it funny. Next project!  
  
Miranda-Glad you like it. Jamie is so cute, in a little boy kinda way (I sounded like a pedophile just then (not how I meant it)). Oh, the imagrey is so awesome. I greatly enjoyed writing that part. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Disclaimer  
  
***  
"Excuse, Rogue, Remy, I need to talk to you for a second." Rogue nodded, and looked oddly at he crowd that was now buzzing louder. Remy was behind her, so she didn't see what Jamie did. Remy looked nervous. Really nervous. Jamie saw that Rogue looked confused, and was, himself, confused. He'd asked Logan what dominatrix meant, and the explanation had left him scarred for life. [If Rogue doesn't know. . . Remy wouldn't, would he? No, Rogue would kill him if she thought that at all. But if she doesn't know. . .oh man, I watch way too many soap operas. Darn you Jubilee!] Jamie ran off to his room, to contemplate whether Remy would do such a thing. (AN:Where the hell did that come from?)  
  
---  
Scott walked away from the gossiping people. He was emabarrased that his chilidshness had started all this. He was too busy feelign sorry for himself to look where he was going. He ran into an equally broody Jean.  
  
"Oh, sorry Scott."  
  
"No, it's my fault."  
  
They lookied at each other akwardly for a minute. the newer recruits, and Kurt and Kitty's relationship radars went off, and tehy went to watch Scott and Jean be akward.  
  
"Hmm, everyone does forget their manners and stare at you in this hall way. who knew, Scott?"  
  
"Rogue and Risty" [let's go talk int he study.]  
  
['kay.]  
  
---  
"Okay, we screwed up." Jean said, pacing a little. Scott nodded.  
  
"The embarrassment should keep anymore incidents like this in check." Another nod form Scott.  
  
"I don't even want to think about how it happened this time." A nod and a shudder.  
  
"Can we make this better?" Scott shook his head glumly.  
  
"Oh well, It's a. . .lesson, for the other students. They won't do anything becasue of all the grief Rogue and Remy are getting."  
  
Scott spoke up. "I don't think they've actually gotten any grief yet. I'm pretty sure we would be giving Remy post-humous probation if Rogue heard any of the rumors. Especially the satanic intervention one. Rogue will scream that she is not a devil worshiper, kill anyone who even heard that rumor, and then do inhumane things to Remy.   
"She would then realize, oops, she is evil, and go on a rampage with Wanda. This would be bad. We just have to hope that she doesn't freak out too bad. The collateral damage would be terrible."  
  
Jean looked at Scott, who had said it all very calmly, and wondered what the hell was wrong with him currently. [First, a prank, for revnege! And now, Rogue freaking out and becoming a serial killer. I'm dating a psycho. Wonder if this is how Remy feels? Bad thought! No, Rogue is just, a little aloof. Understandable. Oh, shut up brain.]  
  
Both left to ponder what they thought.  
  
---  
"Rogue, Remy, I suppose you know why you're here." Hank said, sitting in his computer chair, facing the two teen agers. This nessitated his sitting backward in the chair. It was attatched to the floor, for reasons only he could fathom.  
  
"Um, Ah think because of the royal mess we made tryin' ta kill Bobby, but Ah don't know, 'cause Remy didn't run throuh here like a bat outta hell." Rogue said, and Hank nodded.  
  
"I'm glad to hear you say that Rogue. There are some rumors you should probably know about though. The younger students believe that you and Remy have had. . .sexual intercourse." The last bit was quiet, and Remy could hear Rogue getting pissed off. Not just feel it, although he did feel her anger go up about twenty notches; but actually hear her being mad. It was scary.  
  
"What? People think Ah've done the deed with Remy? Are they nuts?"  
  
Hank sighed. "I don't know where the idea came from, but the rumors claim to have their origin with Scott, thus the need for this discussion." He was sure this would not end well.  
  
Rogue started to ask how. Then she looked at Remy, who was sheepishly (!) holding a pair of _her_ underwear. [Oh God. Why me? Ah swear Bobby's gonna die.] Remy saw her face go red, and slipped the undies back in his pocket, before Hank thought to look at him.  
  
Hank noticed Rogue's change in color. A quick look at Remy, who was shaking his head, made him conclude. . . "I dont' want to know, do I?"  
  
Rogue turned redder, but from anger, not embarasment anymore.  
  
"Bobby trashed my room, an' dumped Rogue's drawerws in m' room. She picked up evryt'in' she saw, but apparently missed a pair, 'cause dat's what Scott saw. HEr an' me, y' know, can't, wouldn't, an' well, don't."  
  
Hank would have blushed were he not a man of science, and a doctor to boot (AN:He's dead Jim!).  
  
"I asumed, knowing your amorous, and, ahem, creative nature. . .well."  
  
Remy knew he should be offended, but it had been his first assumption as well, so he couldn't be too harsh on Dr. McCoy (AN:he's a doctor, not a therapist!).  
  
"Thank you for tellin' us this Doctah McCoy." (AN:*A hand is put over author's mouth saving you froma another Star Trek reference.) Rogue said, while smiling just evilly enough to make Dr. . . Hank leery about her intentions.  
  
Remy didn't know what to do. He'd been nervouse Hank would cite some of the more extreme rumors, which by now would be terrible. The people upstairs probably thought he would need bandages for his whip/bite marks, and that Rogue was going to have either his (or one of the other nameless men involved), baby. He kinda hoped that somewhere in the midst of the more conventional theories Satanic intervention was a line of thinking. He'd never heard that sort of rumor before. He pondered this, and the fact that the news was a step back in his plans while stopping Rogue from mercilessly killing the innocent. . .well, naive children upstairs.   
  
"Okay, tell me exactly what ya know about this, an' don't lie ta me or Ah swear ta God Ah'll find some way ta sick Logan on ya an' laugh as he rips yo' ass ta shreds." Rogue was glaring at him. She hadn't done that for about a week. He had not missed it.  
  
"I went out t' get paint f'r de proffesor's stripes, red by de way, an' I ran into Scott goin' t' hide it. He asked, in de worl's mos' round about way, If I had made love to y'. I tol' him no, an' t' piss off. I wne in m' room,thinking he'd lost his min' an' 'bout tripped over y' panties."He finished, pulling out said undergarment again, this time handing them to Rogue.  
  
"Why it hafta be that pair?"  
  
"Dunno. Betcha Bobby got a kick outta dese." [How many ore like 'em y' got?]  
  
[He ain't made one sexual comment about those underwear. Is he sick?]  
  
"Yeah, creep. He desrves what he's gettin' times ten." Rogue said, with false righteousness dripping off every sylable."  
  
[Worked m' way outta dat one nicely.]  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
"Can we do it tomorrow?"  
  
"Nah, keep wit' de original plan. Put a little of de fear of Rogue ion 'em."  
  
"Ah like how ya think." [AH hope not too much. . .]  
  
[Well, I hope so. One of dese days I'm speakin' m' mind. I'll wait 'til y' trust me.]  
  
Both of them smiled. Rogue uneasilly, and Remy at what Rogue hoped wasn't an inner pin-up of her in the microscopic piece of lace in her hands. Theyt walked down the hall together, and parted ways, as Remy contiued on to the elevator, and Rogue decided to take the stairs for maximum thinking time.  
***  
Well, that's all she wrote. Next part, SOUS 3.5: Next Friday.  
REVIEW, please.  
Peace and Love,  
Panther Nesmith 


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